Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I married young and for all the wrong reasons. I was 20 years old and in the Marine Corps at the time. Though the marriage legally lasted eight years, the relationship hardly survived two. I was no stranger to casual relationships before or after the marriage. Three years ago, at the age 28, I began dating an amazing woman and, in time, we decided to be exclusive. After a year, we moved in together, which was a big step for both of us considering she had a ten-year-old son. They were my family, and though her and I both had no interest in the sound of wedding bells, we committed our lives to each other.
Last summer, while I was away working in Europe, she developed a drug addiction. We struggled for six months through her recovery, but the drugs fundamentally changed her. She began developing intimate relationships with other men, became neglectful and irresponsible, and became apathetic and cruel. It seemed as though she had become two different people--affectionate one day, vicious and cold-hearted the next.
It's been six months since we parted ways, but the loss still has a profound impact on me. I nearly liken the loss to that of death, considering it was abrupt and unexpected, and the woman I loved--the person she was before the drugs, I mean--is gone forever. What's worse is that, as a step-parent to her son, I have no legal rights, no means of continuing the relationship that he and I built over the years.
I know that the details of my situation are unique to me, but the feelings and experience of loss--particularly the loss of romantic love--are universal. I wish I could find a group of people experiencing a similar loss in San Diego so that I wouldn't have to feel so alone in this.
One time he told me he wasn't using any longer and wanted to do some work at my house. I hired him and he did not do a good job. He disappeared a lot and it took him more than 3 times the amount of time to complete the job than it should have. Come to find out, he was smoking meth in a room in my house.
I don't know what drugs your ex is using, but meth really changes a person and causes them to do things they would never have done before. They are not the same person they were and there is very little chance of that person returning. The only success stories I know of is when the person finds God and puts him first. I have seen people in and out of rehab several times.
I was so naive for so long and didn't understand what someone looks like or how they act when they're using meth. Now I see it everywhere!! When I hear people say that drugs should be legal, I have to just shake my head. It may solve the problem of drug trafficking, but it would cause a whole slew of different issues. And those issues would involve innocent kids/people.
I feel for you and I"m so sorry for your pain and loss. Time is a big healer! Also, if you're not close to God, you might try talking to him
Have you looked in to an Alanon group in your area? I'm sure San Diego has many groups. I bet you can find a friend there.
Hang in there!!