This hits close to home, let him go. I know it is hard I am currently undergoing the same thing trying to let go of an extremely toxic relationship that left me at the worst I have ever been in my life. Pray to God and ask him fr strength he will move you forward.

You are way over analyzing this which most likely should be ignored.

If you are serious about putting him behind you, it matters not what his intentions or motives are. No use second guessing the "whys" and "what fors", unless of course, you derive a perverse sense of pleasure from the drama.

And yes, I read the "back story". The on again, off again, we're best friends, we're BF/GF. He is stringing you along. He puts out the bait and you bite time after time.

Maybe you should go No Contact.

Actually I didn't bother to respond to him because I'm tired of his toxicity. And I'm slowly picking my life back up again. Just irks me he sent the message that like that.

Oh well upward and onward....

I am so glad you didn't respond. I don't know your whole story, but it sounds like he may be testing you to make sure you're still there for him, just in case he needs you. At least, this is what I would think if my ex texted me out of the blue around my birthday. Stay strong! You deserve someone you can count on, who makes your birthday a priority and wants to spend it with you. Happy belated!

Thank you 11christmases!

Unless you have children with him and must communicate to arrange visitation and other important matters, there is absolutely no reason to maintain contact with him.

If you can block him and move on. It's great that you didn't engage with him, but why are you leaving yourself open to being hurt and strung along some more? Haven't you had enough yet?

I do keep blocking him but some odd reason my phone account keeps clearing the block list. Whatever.

He hasn't messaged me since. I've decided it's just as easy to delete the messages before reading them if he ever does contact me. He is just too much grief and headache. I don't need to be pulled backwards when I'm moving forward.

Okay so new low. I go nc and guess who my brother had lunch with yesterday? My ex and his new gf. My brother doesn't know he's my ex so he proceeded to tell me for a while how great they seem, how happy she makes him, how she takes care of him and that they did so much PDA that my brother felt so uncomfortable.

My ex used to go months not contacting my brother but I go NC and wants to go to lunch and introduce his gf.

Oh boy! My ex (the one before the last) popped up out of the blue (after I went on full no contact for months) with a happy birthday message (justification for having been an a-hole included) I thanked him and a month after that when it was his birthday I returned the compliment. We met for a drink and voilà! He wants me back.
Here's the happy ending: I realized that I'm not inlove with him anymore although I do love him as a friend.
Bottom line, I know it's hard but trust the people telling you to go on with your life. Yes, if it's meant to be it will be...but the tricky part is that you do need to move on either if you want him back or if you want to be happy with someone else.
Best of luck

My ex kept calling me until I had my number changed on my tracphone; Now, she's resorted to calling and emailing my Pastor (who wants nothing to do with it). I divorced her and have told her repeatedly to leave me alone. She's doing the same thing your ex is doing: testing the waters to see where he stands with you.
Let's face it, your ex and my ex have the same problem: neither one of them would know love if it walked up and shock their hand. And believe me, your ex could care less about your birthday I'm sure.

no he's not rubbing salt on the wound. dear me.

If you want to analyse people's motivations, don't. it's an insufferable habit and guaranteed to be wrong. If you want to know why someone dose something ask them. If you haven't got what it takes to ask them, let it go. just let it go.

he remembered your birthday. That's manners. thank him very nicely and move on.