Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,010 Members
100,360 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Birthday

basnime
basnime

This is my first birthday without my husband. I did not know it would be this hard. He always made my birthday special. Last year I knew we were in trouble but yet he still got me my designer bag that I waited 40 years to get. If he kept that promise why couldn't he keep our vows?  Was the bag a consillation prize?


i woke up at 3 am and could not go back to sleep at all. I can't drive the 5 hours to get to D.C. To even celebrate my birthday with my daughter as I planned. He calls me ungrateful. I think I am. Nothing is good enough. He tried so hard on the way out. Bought my bag, surprise tickets for a concert on Valetines Day. Last minute attempts or to make the memories so great I'd live in regret forever? I wonder, dear God I wonder.

Koko
Koko
First of all happy birthday!!! Wow your husband did so nice things for you. My did not - never got me presents or took me out because he said I wouldn't like anything he planned. Which is part of the reason he wants the divorce - he felt nothing he did was good enough. Well he never tried and I probably should expect more.

Anyway you need to pull yourself together. Take a power nap or grab a big cup of coffee and make it out there to be with your daughter. Celebrate your birthday!!!! Just don't be alone.
basnime
basnime
I will try. Even in his absence he's trying. I'm coming to discover something is wrong inside my heart.
CrushedDad
CrushedDad
Happy Birthday! We are both December babies. Don't let him convince you that you are the bad guy. There's pain in all our hearts and while we all played a part in our relationship woes, it takes two to make or break it. Buying you the bag doesn't make him a hero and you a villain. Enjoy your day and try to do something nice for yourself knowing you don't have ulterior motives like he may have had. Again, the bag doesn't prove love. Please enjoy YOUR day.
basnime
basnime
Thank you. My birthday is Sunday. I keep hearing that it takes two
kasharoo
kasharoo
Happy Birthday basnime. I hope you make it out to see your daughter because being around her will make you feel loved and appreciated. If you can't do it, try to treat yourself to something. A facial, a massage, a manicure, a new outfit. Something. Because you deserve it. And know that you've got people all over the country wishing you a happy birthday right now. <3
kasharoo
kasharoo
Try to remember - your birthday is about YOU. Not him. Celebrate you and celebrate how strong you have been to get this far.
MontgomeryDad
MontgomeryDad
Happy early birthday. Sorry to hear you won't be making it out to my neck of the woods, but I totally get where you're coming from. Try and do everything you can to enjoy your birthday. Your husband has already done a lot to make you sad, don't let him continue to do so. Control your own destiny. Have a great weekend for you. Go see your daughter and have a great time with her. I am sure you will both be happy to be around each other. You definitely need that.
alone1nbrave2
alone1nbrave2
Happy early Birthday! Celebrate you this year...go get yourself a massage and do your make up and hair and have someone take you out for sushi and wine. Don't talk about this stuff for the day and maybe for a bit you'll feel like super you again for a little. And get to your daughter...no matter what. You'll be more upset you miss doing that come monday. Hugs to you
aj2124
aj2124
I am so sorry. Those first birthdays and holidays are not easy but once that first year passes, it does get easier. I don't think you are necessarily ungrateful. Objects and money do not translate into love and commitment so it's understandable that you probably felt something was lacking even if you enjoyed the present. What are your plans for Christmas and the surrounding holidays?