Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
If anyone is around tonight, give me your thoughts real quick...
I've received a long, angry email from my ex that is full of accusations that are untrue. He tends to get wrapped up in delusions were he is always right and I am always wrong (which is why we broke up!) but this email is extreme. I mean it contains things that are just silly, and easy to disprove, like that I abused the kids, crashed the car and spent thousands of dollars on clothing in one month (I am very frugal.)
We will be headed to court in the next few months and the divorce will not be pretty. He can be incredibly charming wen he wants to be and he has convinced more than one person before that his crazy accusations about me were true.
In this case, where there is an email / evidence trail, is it better to send a short, calm email in reply refuting his allegations to make sure the false claims are corrected, or is it better to just ignore it and not get dragged into the battle? I leave tomorrow to spend spring break in Hawaii with my family (thank goodness!) and would like to have this handled before I go.
Thank you for any thoughts!
I've received a long, angry email from my ex that is full of accusations that are untrue. He tends to get wrapped up in delusions were he is always right and I am always wrong (which is why we broke up!) but this email is extreme. I mean it contains things that are just silly, and easy to disprove, like that I abused the kids, crashed the car and spent thousands of dollars on clothing in one month (I am very frugal.)
We will be headed to court in the next few months and the divorce will not be pretty. He can be incredibly charming wen he wants to be and he has convinced more than one person before that his crazy accusations about me were true.
In this case, where there is an email / evidence trail, is it better to send a short, calm email in reply refuting his allegations to make sure the false claims are corrected, or is it better to just ignore it and not get dragged into the battle? I leave tomorrow to spend spring break in Hawaii with my family (thank goodness!) and would like to have this handled before I go.
Thank you for any thoughts!
Maybe yours is different, but he is so sure and can only see what he wants things to be. As the Taylor swift song goes "shake it off" and enjoy your vacation.
I would definitely not respond directly to him...that is exactly what he wants is to engage you and try to make you angry, upset, etc.
Have fun on vacation.
Keep everything he puts in writing that may help you prove what a jerk he is.
Good luck
I do have a lawyer but I'm just at the beginning stage of our case so I don't want to overwhelm her. I'll just put it in my "jerk" email folder and try to pretend I never saw it!
You're doing the right thing, just keep it filed and ignore him, and have fun on your trip and block him while you're gone so he doesn't try and sabotage your good time
Has he ever been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder? It kind of sounds like that is what he has. Maybe read up on it and see what you think.
Take care and have a wonderful vacation.
I don't know that he is trying to get you to respond. He might just be trying to exercise some of his own demons in a cathartic manner. But obviously you can't respond chapter and verse to each and every allegation. That would be a total waste of your time. Instead you might send him something very simple. Like this:
"Thank you for your email. I promise to give it all the consideration it deserves."