Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Singlemommom
Singlemommom

Yesterday emotions were all over the place. Ex to be after32  years is on a cruise assuming with the woman he was cheating with. Trying to get over the lies and trauma of the separation. His friend keeps asking if I heard who she is and people will be surprised when it comes out. I want to know but will this open new wounds. Why do I care who it is? Why did I let him abuse me and why did he abuse me? Keeping busy at work. Rainy day trying to keep energy up. Down 30 lbs.."...advice

Koko
Koko
UGH I don't know if finding out more information would be helpful. Everything I read says to focus on yourself and not focus on him. I lost about 10 lbs since last week as well - I don't need to lose anymore. I've been trying to detach and do things myself but it is hard since he is still living at home.
Staystrong207
Staystrong207
Don't keep digging for information. I was doing the same in the beginning and it was only making me more upset. Focus on yourself and try to keep occupied. We all know how hard it is to do this, but everyday that we try it will get easier. I woke up this morning and told myself how beautiful I am. Start each day with something positive about yourself.

It's a rainy day here but I am the sunshine and so are you.
STex
STex
If you have no hope for your marriage, I would just let it go. It will just torture your soul. Focus on one day at a time. Thinking about your future will only enhance the panic and anxiety. So try to focus on the NOW. It makes it a little easier to manage. Give yourself some time to grieve. 32 years is a big part of your life. Trying to work on my 25 year marriage by myself right now and it feels like I am on a deserted island. My unfaithful wife doesn't think we need help, I on the other hand am desperate to try to get on the right path. Being in between is almost as bad as being separated. Again I try not to focus too much on the future, just the here and now. You can only change yourself in your present situation. Get on here often vent, cry, then pull yourself up and get on with the healing. You can do this!
jimthzz
jimthzz
If he is using community property, marital assets, bank funds, or credit card, to pay for his fooling around, you ought to do something about it.

For one, look into stopping any joint credit being used. Separate finances.

Any of that can be added to what he owes you in the divorce settlement.

Definitely consult with your attorney about it.
charliegirl815
charliegirl815
So sorry to hear this. When we spend many years with someone it's hard to process the hurt and pain alone. I hope you are seeing a counselor to help you work through this transition. I wouldn't want to be around "his friends" and anyone else who feels it's necessary to discuss the other woman or ask questions that are not in your best interest. I hope you have friends who are there for you. Otherwise, many are here to be your shoulder and offer support. Take it one thing at a time.