Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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lovelost74 07/22/2012

Really weird feelings have been going on over the past few days. Since our seperation I have always taken the high road during arguments, conversations and any issues we have had. I always do whatever I can to help her or do what I can to make her life easier. Up until the last week or two I think I was taking the high road because in a way I thought it would bring her back. Something has changed! I just react now, not in a negative way, I am still taking the high road but I dont think of how it will make her feel or what she thinks or is she going to see that I am doing it. I just do it because it is the right thing to do.

Do you think this is a phase or am I actually making progress? I have been reading a book about divorce and have been spending a lot of time chatting with some great people on this site. Just wondering if any of you have experienced this?

PS: Thanks for all of the support! Hopefully I can give some back.

deleted_user 07/22/2012

making progress

deleted_user 07/22/2012

who told you that taking the high road works? it doesn't. it is like saying that if i love her enough, eventually she will love me just as much back. it does not work that way.

believe me, i've tried it and it does not work.

your job is to represent your side of the puzzle while she represents hers. if you both do that well and find common, acceptable ground, that middle ground is the high road.

deleted_user 07/22/2012

I say definitely making progress but it's also normal to have some setbacks too..so..if and when they come don't worry..that too is normal and part of the process...at least so far in my experience they do get fewer and far between. good luck!

deleted_user 07/22/2012

It is progress.... but recovery is ups and downs. I think progress is doing anything that helps make you feel better and reach a place you want to ultimately be at.

fakeblonde 07/22/2012

I think it just speaks to your character. No matter how low he goes, or what he calls me, I know that I have to live with myself and my choices and just know I'm doing the right thing for my own conscience. Not that I haven't blown my stack and said things I wish I hadn't, but for the most part, I really just try to be a good person.

deleted_user 07/23/2012

My advice to you is to always be gracious. I am not saying be a pushover and let this person do and say whatever they want to you. But normally in situations like these, the other person is waiting to get into a war or words with you so they can spew hate. This helps them heal and get over you, as you are bound to say something regrettable, thus in their mind justifying the break up.

NEVER let them see you get angry. This pumps their ego since they know they were able to get to you. Live well, wish them well, and walk away.

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