This is an extremely crude example, but I think I get what you're talking about:

It's like masturbating with the "other" hand. It feels weird and different, maybe a little odd. And maybe not quite right, which is why you prefer the other hand.

Hmm...maybe that's not the best example, but I think I get what you mean.

I understand exactly what you mean. I felt that way about my home of l3 years - I was actually relieved when I sold it.

Lynne

When you are with someone for a long time, even a very best friend, and they are no longer around it certainly can bring on feeling uncomfortable where you are or in things you do. They were there doing those things or being with you. It is definately a hard thing when it first happens.

But don't let the situation define you and think this is what "you are looking for" while we all want to have that partner in life, someone to share our days with, it isnt what should make us feel comfortable in our own lives.

Take those moments you need to in order to get through the pain, but always know, life is more than what one other person can "give" us.

best wishes

It makes sense to me. I described it once as feeling as if I had lost my context. I am still struggling with that. I think it's part of the process of reinventing our lives and ourselves.

Change is unomfortable to most people, but can't always be avoided. You need to embrace new things in order to move on.

I know exactly what you mean, nothing seems the same anymore, so much of what I have and where I live is attached to happy memories which are now tainted, corrupted by what is happening to us now.
I so want to curl up in a ball and hide from it all...

I understand this all too well, also. When it first happened, I couldn't even go to the grocery store on Saturday, because we used to do that together, so I had to make a new routine, and create a new familiar. It took a while, but I changed the day, and place that I shopped, and then it became easier. I had made myself a new familiar. This is necessary for moving on, apart from them. I sold my home also. It was associated with too many memories. I bought all new things for me. New bed linen, new dishes that I used everyday, New coffee pot, and new chairs. I know that not everyone can change it completely, but you can make it yours, by covering it, or changing the curtains, so to speak. This helped me tremendously in my healing, to claim my space for me. Healing hugs for you, as you find your way. Kimmee

I know how you feel. I have spent the last 11 years of my life "redefining normal" for various major life-altering reasons. Someday, I'd like to maintain one "redefinition" for an extended period of time...you know, maybe at least a year.

Am I a sick one or what? I didn't have any of these feelings, I ate at the same restaurants, kept the same routines, didn't really feel uncomfortable.....or could it be that even though we were a couple but she wasn't with me?.....Or had the marriage been destroyed over time to the point that I had almost healed?.....But I think I can relate to this a little. from a break up many many years ago....and then I did have some uncomfortable times

That feeling was intense at first for me. It has diminished as I construct a new life.

It makes sense. Kimmee's right about making changes and making new routines.

Your post brought up a memory for me. I wasn't comfortable for most of my marriage. Things didn't feel right. I would constantly rearrange furniture, want to change jobs, etc. I remember saying once, "Since I can't change husbands, I'll change everything else." I wish I would have really heard what I was saying!

Personally, I'm the most comfortable I've been in my entire life. Would very much like a new setting though.

Its good to know that I am not alone in this. It does sometime feel like I am not connected. I am going to do the suggestions your all gave, starting with getting a new bed! I know once I start doing more things by myself and start a new life with new people things should get better. I just want it to happen already, and of cause I know that it can't.

I mark response #1 as funny as hell...if there was an option for it.