Well more to my story. It's almost been 24 hours since I left, and I'm doing the venting thing. Yup I'm not perfect, and admit it. I wanted this to be it. I was tired of the games. So after a few years I was finally healthy as I could be.. I was happy and figured I was no longer looking for a partner, and boom it happened.
Now I know better to look for red flags, but healthy enough, ha not even.
First red flag
I asked her when we meet, so how long have you been divorced. She replied a year.
I came to find out she wasn't even divorced
Next red flag
She would puropously antagonize her ex just because she could. Yup blind to the pretty face I was
Next flag
She talked about how she cleared out her 401K after she lost her job of 19 years. She claimed it was to keep things going, yet she always wanted to meet at the casino. I really don't gamble or care to
Next red flag
Her ex is an alcoholic
Not a good place to be
So not divorced, likes to gamble, lies, and causes caos
Now here I am that faithful not totally healed fool diving right back in because I didn't listen to the rules, and walk away after the first lie she was divorced.
So let the healing begin.
Yes it stinks, the pain, and knowing I have to work even harder on myself, and quit being the rescuer.

Dont beat yourself up, you woke up and got out. You could have stayed and between now a dead had your self esteem slowly go down the drain. I have made many mistakes too, why is it so clear in hingsight? That is my struggel too. I am now recently divorce and just being with myself is so nice. Sure I get lonely, but I was more lonely when I was married...sad

Thank you for that. I do tend to beat myself up. I use to have lots of friends, and enjoyed my life. Yes lonely at times to. I need to keep looking back on the mistakes I made, and why. Then work on fixing them. I know I know how can I be good for anyone else or truly love them if I don't first love myself.

Yeah I am working on that too. My therapist says you only attract someone at your level. I am trying to change that so I can meet someone with kindness and empathy

Im currently going thru a divorce. When i met my husband he fit in my life and my family like a missing puzzle piece. He was so much like my dad. Or so I thought, after 15 years of being together I realized he was like my uncle! He turned bitter and negative all the time. No one could do anything right! Now I’m left wondering if I could have done something different? Did i make him that way? Of course he says it’s all me, and i know im not perfect but im not bitter or negative. I truly believe that in order to have a successful healthy relationship you do have to love yourself and be happy with where you are in life. So now here i am just turning 40 and starting all over again. At least my kids are older now and I don’t have to worry about them as much. Heck they worry about me. I feel like I can’t move on though until this divorce is done! I’ve heard that can take a while.

SOunds like you married a narcissits and they are always right. I did the same, i know when people are having troubles in a marriage, you can still be nice to them. I am proud of the way I treated my ex with respect despite his behaviour, I just did not like the aspect of myself in the relationship anymore. We did a ton of marriage counselling, he never followed through on what he was asked to do, how could he, he was always right and no flaws. We both did our best but when the marriage counsellor said the relationship was unhealthy for me as he had no empathy, I heard him and new I had to move on, still it was hard doing the right thing