Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members

100,360 Posts

1 Online

frckls22 04/19/2017

I recently learned that my ex boyfriend blocked me on everything that he possibly could. I cant explain the anxiety/sadness i feel knowing i couldnt even contact him anymore even if i absolutely needed to. Ill keep it short, but we dated, he dumped me to get back with his ex, and she turned him down. We then both remained single, but friends for 8 months after that until now. still had relations for five of those months. now he has met someone new and I had sooooo much hope that by me being there, he would choose me when he was ready to date again. I feel so patheitc. My sadness im feeling right now isnt even all from him blocking me from his life, its more so of how much i care. I feel disappointed in myself. Is there any advice on how to pick up and move on. I came from a very abusive relationship before him, so i really looked at him as something special. Am i crazy to think i will never find someone nice like him again? I get what I just described doesnt sound nice, but not once did he ever call me anything but my name, or beautiful. and he never laid his hands on me. And that was a big change for me. I think im just holding on so hard and feel so much anxiety because Im afraid ill be abused again. Any advice or words of encouragment are appreciated. <3

piecelost 04/19/2017

Maybe it's kind of better for you to not see anything he might be doing in his life right now, I'm not trying to be mean or rude about that, it's just that if he has moved on with someone you might feel more crushed in your heart. I had to end a relationship 8 months ago, and yesterday someone told me pretty much he moved on and I'll tell ya, it opened all the hurt up and the wound is opened up again, and trust me I wish I didn't know that! I myself thought I was getting over him, but now, I know I'm not.

frckls22 04/19/2017

@piecelost, I agree its probably for the best. But he had been talking to me now I'm blocked. cant even text him if I wanted to. You're absolutely right I don't think you're being mean or rude at all. It just still hurts. he still texted me GM beautiful all the time, even while texting her, his reasoning was "he's still technically single" It just gave me false hope. I'm 25, he's 37. I just thought he'd be more mature about it all. I feel like he kept me on the line until he was sure about this new girl, then cut me off. I just feel safe with no man having my heart anymore.

mirandac 04/19/2017

Playing the "pick me" dance Usually does not go
too well.

I would get into therapy to help you get stronger
Before getting into a new relationship again. Heal
Yourself first then you will hopefully find a healthy
partner.

There is also 12 step groups that help you heal
From the inside out. I attend alanon and there are
CODA meetings too. HUGS

frckls22 04/19/2017

@mirandac , Thank you and HUGS to you as well. I didn't want him to necessarily pick me over her, just always thought we could remain friends. Its just all kind of hard to digest. But I will look into that. Thank you.

frckls22 04/19/2017

I just sit in my apt all day. and cry on and off. IDK whats wrong with me. I feel it really all stems from my first real relationship being so horrible, and me rushing into this last one and I feel like I messed it all up, Its my fault he blocked me, and I just feel impossible to deal with. Looking back I wish I had waited so bad before dating him. I feel although he has done asshole things (like lead me on knowing how I felt about him and swearing he never led me on) that all in all I did lose a good guy and push him away entirely. I'm so scared I'm going to feel this way forever and never me my best me again. I just wish I was okay

mirandac 04/19/2017

He sounds like a player and an emotional
Manipulator. Not a good choice for any kind
of relationship material, HUGS

frckls22 04/19/2017

Thank you for your words. I know my problem right now seems so small, but just with all the underlying sadness and emotions, it just made a lot of things worse. thanks for talking with me

LostAndRejected 04/19/2017

There's nothing wrong with you for crying, in fact it's perfectly healthy. You're right at the start of the process of grieving in the shattering & withdrawal stages. Times will be rough ahead and your emotions will be CRAZY. Get some help from a therapist and/or support group. Talk to friends and family about things. Start doing stuff that ups your self worth.

frckls22 04/19/2017

@LostAndRejected thank you for saying there is nothing wrong with me. I think I just want a stable happy relationship so bad, where two people are in love and never give up on each other. but I feel its so far away. I am trying to up my self worth. going to start training for a 5k starting tomorrow. I have to stop thinking this is the end all be all. Its crazy how one person can make such a difference in your life, but clearly he wasn't the one or I wouldn't be in this situation I guess. I wish he would give me everything he is giving this new girl. his time and attention, but its time to move on and let her be happy with him. Thank you for your words <3

mirandac 04/19/2017

You left an abusive relationship and started
a new one too soon and thought you found
your Answer to all the problems. You ended
Up with a real jerk instead.

Glad you are working on building up your self
worth and esteem. Both those types of guys
will suck you dry, one just more obvious than
the other one, HUGS

HotdogLuvr 04/19/2017

I have a similar problem that I got advice on. I would try to take your mind off of this by hanging out with your other friends and laughing all together about fun things. You are not crazy for thinking u will never find someone like him again. Every person has their person who they think is perfect, and so hat means when it comes to the end, it's really depressing and you think you won't find someone like him again. Try to keep your mind off of it. Start slowly and then soon you will be happy with your friends

jojored 04/19/2017

Now would be a great time to start dealing with the underlying reasons that you were in that first abusive relationship. I'm a big believer in the theory that we find adult relationships that give us what we had in childhood. I had a pretty emotionally detatched set of parents, and wouldn't you know, I picked that kind of spouse. I too fear who I might date again, should I ever date (I'm no spring chicken). I can certainly understand your anxiety. I'd like to think I've learned a thing or two during my 2 year journey to divorce, but time will tell. Therapy for a little while might help you discover things about yourself, core things, that help shape the people you chose to have in your life and the decisions you make.

Nick2017 04/20/2017

he does what he thinks is good for him. now what are u going to do for you?

Join the Conversation