Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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rose77 12/12/2011

I had been doing so much better. I got past that my ex has a girlfriend, and not just someone he chats or texts with from the internet, and visits in another state. A real relationship, it took me a while but I was ok. Now I guess with the holidays and being with out someone in my life I feel as if I am back to the beginning. It did not help that a friend of mine (although with good intensions) told me that he saw her holding her hand. Im going to cry again just writing that sentence. I dont know why that triggered it, holding her hand, I mean I knew he was , with out a doubt, having sex with her, but for some reason that kills me. I dont want to be like this it is way to long 2 years for me to feel this way, and I wanted him out because his cheating and lying. I guess its because he is suppose to be as unhappy and lonely as I am since he is the one who hurt me so bad. I want to stop crying and get back to where I was. I am trying not to show this to my kids I really want to make this good holiday for them. I cant do this anymore

deleted_user 12/12/2011

Man...you are right where I am. Been separated for over two years. I left because of his anger issues and emotional abuse. He has a girlfriend now and I just found out he told her he loves her....my heart is broken. Why couldn't he just treat me nice so I wouldn't have to put myself and my kids through this? He doesn't deserve happiness...I do and here I sit all alone at Christmas with no one to love me. He gets to move on and forget I ever existed. I hate him and want him to be miserable in his new relationship.

It has to get better someday soon.

deleted_user 12/12/2011

I am soo sorry, that sucks. that is what I know will come and I know it will kill me. My stbx was always very physical, holding hands etc..and it kills me inside to imagine him doing that with someone else. last week I felt stronger...this week I feel like I've slipped and your post reminder me yet how hurt I still am...I too wish my stbx a miserable life

rose77 12/12/2011

I am so upset that even though I re-read my post before I hit submit I still had my words incorrect I meant to say that my friend saw him holding her hand. I guess you all got the idea anyway. I just wanted to correct it. I know I am not alone in feeling this way, it just sucks so bad. I want to feel better, I want to be the one who is happy. Why does he get all this when he should get the misery. He doesnt even bother with our kids all that much. He has made a life with this women and her kids. I do just keep remembering he used to hold my hand. Why do I care. Like I said before, it just magnifies how alone I am and how he moved on so easily. I just dont matter at all, and even though that should not matter, it does to me. Thanks for reinforcing that there are other people who are going through this also. I just want to feel better.

deleted_user 12/12/2011

He does miss you and that's why he tried to find a relationship so fast to forget you. It's a known fact men move on quicker as a coping method, but feel sorry for the new girl, she has to work twice as hard to erase your memory. It's also natural to want him to be as miserable as he made you, but don't think he isn't thinking of you. Just because on the outside it apepars he's happy...no one knows the mental anguish he may be in.

deleted_user 12/12/2011

When they move on they forget about us, our feeling. It's been 3 yrs. for me but I pray and keep going. Still hurting but able to go on with my everyday life with alot of prayer.

rose77 12/12/2011

insigntful44 Thank you so much for what you said., t really helps me to think that. I truly wish it to be true.

deleted_user 12/12/2011

Its always going to hurt, but that is ok, it's just part of the process I guess. I have tried to prepare myself for the moment that this happens to me, but I dont think you can really be prepared for this....no matter what you do it's going to hurt like hell. Let it, you cant move past him without letting out all the pain that he has caused in you life.

JennyMe 12/12/2011

i sense the incredible pain that you are in and i am sorry.

you need to focus on the REASONS You split.. the lying.. the cheating...

and not romance the few good things or obsessing ab ideas of him with someone else. he is out of your life for a reason.. bc he fucked up.

now dust yourself off and stand up to move forward with your head held high and your focus on YOURSELF and your own happiness.. looking inward is what is going to make you feel joy... looking to him has not and will not bring you happiness on any level.

you can do this!!

hugs

rose77 12/13/2011

Jennyme you are right, when my friend brought this new picture into my head, him holding her hand, I did lose all the reasons I left him. All the negitive which was very negitive. This picture brought me thoughts of good times that no longer exsisted for at least 5 yrs of my marriage. I have tried to bring myself back to the place where I was by trying to bring the bad things he did back to my mind. The holidays don't help. but you are right I divorced him for a very good reason and even though I once prayed that he would change, now I pray he doesn't. He was not, and probably still not a good man. besides being a lyer and cheat he was a nasty man. I must keep focusing on that and not remember what I think I lost and what I think she has. I know I have to keep these thoughts in my head when I find myself falling I just want to move on I hate the hurting.

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