You are not alone. I often feel the same way at work and just want to leave. Or go in the bathroom and cry. Take some deep breaths and close your eyes for a couple minutes. Then think of something some topic you might be interested in and find a new article or website to browse for a few minutes. Take your mind off your ex for 10-15 minutes. Give your mind a break. Hang in there an message me if you want to vent more. We are here for you.

I hurts so bad, I am always looking and wanting some sign from him that he loves me and wants me back! I can't stand myself!

I know exactly how you feel. I do the same thing. Not as much as I used to though. I find myself looking for his approval or communication that he wants to be with me. We have 2 kids together so I have to see him a lot. Sometimes he is cold skmetimes he is loving. I used to focus all my time on wondering and hoping he would be loving towards me. Then I realized that I was not living my life. Not focusing that energy on my children who deserve my love, who are the ones that actually want my love. Don't get me wrong I still slip back into those old patterns, but I try to remind myself everyday that my kids need me. Don't hate yourself for feeling. Give yourself time. You will get better.

OMG
I went through exactly what you are......Searing pain and rage

Get help

but do know....over time...you will hurt less
and build a new life for YOU

Hugs

He is going on with his life,
That shows that when you were together it was his life about him

You will be better off in the long run, he'll suck the love out if someone other then you

Thanks everyone! I will try it take the advice. I pretty much still don't want this to be happening. I just don't want to face all the change. It all feels so lonely. I lose past and my future! Are to see any good!

You can still hold on to the positive experiences of your past. Those are not gone. Your future won't have him in it but eventually you will see the positives in that too. A new and better door will open. Your future will be good if you want to find the good in it. Don't dwell on your ex or think he is the only one that will make your future happy. That is up to you. Believe me, I feel what you are going through. It is hard to imagine your life a different way once you have spent so much time thinking it will be a certain way. Allow yourself the grieving process for your relationship ending. You will come out a better person for it.

just get through one day...one hour...one moment at a time

As time progresses it does get easier
Little things will become a little easier

Eventually like will be better again

LIFE

I am exactly where you are right this minute and it hurts. Knowing and seeing him act as if he is not even phased is so hurtful and painful. I wish i could offer more support other than you are not alone.

My wife 3 months ago now asked for seperation and shut off since then... We are still in the same house as we have 3 young kids... she seems to go about her day without any emotion, seems happy and normal, even tries to act towards me normal like nothing is wrong... But zero affection, zero emotion. and still standing pat on her decision... Ive done it all to her, alot of mistakes, crying, begging, distancing myself, none of it has changed a thing... and none of it has made me feel any better... I sit here writing this as i cry once again at my desk... for three months now the strong focused and secure man i was all my life, is now beaten down, feeling alone, rejected, not good enough... Feeling thrown away like garbage. and yet i for some reason and so in love with her, want her and our family more then anything... I wish I knew what was wrong with me that i can't let go... I wish I could give you a better answer as I know the pain your feeling... Ive been told on her several times, that it takes time, that I need to focus on myself and my kids... I try hard to do that, but i sitll break down... I want to find a hole and hid in it... She was everything to me.. and its all be taken away... my time with my kids... My house, family and friends all taken away from me.. There was no affair, no fighting, no abuse, no finacial issues... nothing... she just says her feelings have changed... I can't comprehend it... My only guess is she never loved me as much as i love her... I keep searching for that magic word, or magic action i could take, Her every word i search for signs of hope...... Her actions dont match her words, which has made it harder for me... Im trying to get the strength to tell her to just go... I can't talk to her, i can't see her without feeling hurt inside. but ive become weak, and affraid that what ever i say and do will make it worse and ruin any chance of her return if there even is one... I will say.. that although i still cry, it has become less over time. Week one was all day... today its an occasional cry for few minutes.. usually when a thought of her pops in my head. Im devistated, and im sure many others are here as well... I hope you find an easier path to heal then ive been on... I dont wish this on anyone. im sorry this probably isn't much help, but atleast know you aren't alone. Good luck.

Sorry ESL12 I wish I could make it a better! I want him home but I don't want to live as if I'm not there or don't matter! We matter! We are not garbage! I can't wait to be a year or so down the road because I hope I am feeling way better.

Thanks for sharing

Confused 2013

Sorry you are dealing with this but thanks for sharing and offering support!

Someone posted in this group the following website. I am going through it now and it seems very helpful. I hope it can help.

http://breakuprecoveryguide.com