I understand how your feeling man. You feel like your emotions are stretched to the limit. The hardest part of a split is to stop worrying about the ex, and to just worry about you the individual (and your kids).

If I read correctly, you two are separating with you getting your own place in May as she wants a divorce. As sad as it may be, family life isn't the same as it used to be. Why does she have to tell you she is going out?

I suggest that you get some counseling for the anger because you said that the kids being around help you from blowing up. That is your signal that you need help with your anger and to work with anger management.

I am only asking to get the dynamics: If you're separated, but living together, are there "ground rules" for stuff? I mean, do you guys regularly have family dinners?

I also don't think she has to tell you where she has been, BUT I also don't think you have to tell her where you have been forever.

She might be trying to establish some kind of "separated normalcy" while having to live together still?

If you two didn't live together, you wouldn't have the trigger of seeing her come home at six, you know what I mean?

It sounds like a very difficult situation to be. I hope you find peace, and I wish you a lot of strength!!

Somer, I'm in the same situation as you, for the most part. Didn't want the separation, stuck in the house for some time while things get arranged. May will come. I'm waiting for July, but it will come too.

The feelings you're having are the same as mine I think. It drives me mental thinking about what he's doing when he's out. On the outside, I tell him that how he spends his time is none of my business, but it's pretty much killing me. I know that he's currently seeking other women to spend his time with (his online profile says so), and would love to think that it's another woman that made him want out of our marriage. But i don't think it is. If only it was that easy, huh?

Anger is the easiest emotion for most people to feel. It satisfies several needs, the biggest one being the need to feel like we're strong and in control. There's lots of other stuff that lies underneath. I'm trying to get to those. Being angry doesn't serve me personally in any way...and I have a son that needs the loving me, not the angry me. His soon-to-be-ex-stepdad is angry enough to fill the whole house with bad vibes, even when he's not here.

I feel you man I'm in the same situation as divorcing roommates and eventhough looking back on the past 20 yrs it's painfully clear I'll be much better off, I didn't initiate it, eventhough I served her. This is the hardest thing I've had to do, at this point we have to be friendly, fights escalate rapidly. I know she has written letters to the guy she was online with which ended when his wife found out, I'm not sure why but I stopped getting angry and just became sad which has turned to oh well time to start thinking as I not us find myself and move on, its not easy but its possible we actually are ok if we don't discuss the straw that broke the marriage vows...if I can't fight the feelings I go out or to another room oh yeah therapy has helped as well stay strong its a tough situation I know...

We haven't set any ground rules. I did tell her that my emotions will be all over the place. I told her that Iam still processing this and she already has moved on. I feel like she is rubbing it in on how she has moved on. I know she doesn't mean too. I just can't help it.

I am doing therapy and taking medication to help me with the fluctuations.

Iam signing my lease tomorrow. So I can move in may. Now I have to waste money furnishing the apartment. I have to buy everything.