My ex and I are just civil with each other because of the kids. She has asked me a few times if we can be friends, After what she has put me through, I do not trust her. I do not want anything to do with her. She has not apologize to what she has done and blamed me for it.
You are doing the right thing by being civilized in front of your kids.
Stay strong

In my opinion when we have kids we should be courteous because, yes, our kids are affected by our actions. Outside of that there is not need to maintain any other type of friendship, connection, etc. The only time this is healthy is when feelings whether good or bad, have completely died out. If there are kids in the mix, we are only coparents with our Exs, nothing else. That should look a lot like a business relationship. So it's very interesting that your therapist recomments a "better relationship". Your healing is very important right now and your child needs you as a healthy, healed individual. I would make that my priority over getting along with my Ex.

Good luck.

Thanks for the feedback and reinforcement guys. I like businesslike because that's what I'm most comfortable with.

I heard that several times... treat your ex like a business partner.... how is that possible when they lie and step on you to get ahead...mentally abuse you... play tricks on you.... my ex his thing is that.. he starts out that he is really concerned about me and wants to know everything like he is my best friend and i fell several times and only to know he uses the information to his advantage... i don't trust this guys for nothing not even for a business type situation... I sure don't want him to teach my kids to do the same thing with others.

I am in a situation where I have to be civil with us still living together. We don't try to be friends we just do our own thing and co parent. I feel like this is stunting my healing and personal growth but I am getting more comfortable doing what I need to heal with her here or not. It has been tough we have fought but the last month has been very peaceful between us.
Oh she did betray me then asked for a divorce when I found out. It hurt but it's been 9 months now and I think I can say I forgive her.I won't forget and will never go back with her but I realize it's for the best to forgive her for myself. Just to let go of that anger. I know I have and it's nice. My therapist had the same sentiments about teaching the kids how to have a civil break up. It's hard but a small sacrifice for my kids. Stay strong!

Yes. We are on very good terms. He thinks all is forgiven and we are buds. Forgiven? Yes. Buds? Not so much.

I'm just biding my time. I'm trying to get a job a looong way from here. when I do I will change all my phone numbers, etc and make them unlisted. AND not gonna tell him When or where I am going. For the first time in 26 years, he will not know where I am or how to get in touch with me.

I want him out of my life even if I have to carve him out with a dull spoon. I can't take much more of this pain. I just can't. It's killing me.

A year long separation from my stbxhb did a lot of good for us. So we are on good terms.

We are friendly and have lunch every once in a while, but I feel like we are going to reach the next phase where we actually have to discuss what happened to us. He cheated, very badly and during a very bad time in my life. He also verbally abused me.

He is very much changed and I'm happy to see him happy. But I can never go back. A lot of trust was lost.

I don't see a correct stance here no matter what a person does. On one side of the coin we need to set the example for the children, (mine were all grown adults so it wasn't super important), that we are all adults here and can act civil and be friends. On the other side of the coin, in doing so, we show our kids that people can treat us like dirt, ruin our future plans, tear the family apart, ruin their inheritances, but we still like these people! Okay kids, grow up to be the doormat and punching bag, it's all cool. What kind of lesson is that? You lose either way in my opinion.

My ex tries to be friendly since we see each other constantly at our grandkid's sporting events but it is solely for one reason and one reason only, to appease her guilt. I won't give her the satisfaction. She made her bed, she can now lie in it. I've been through hell and back over the years and she's the one who bought the ticket for the journey. No way I'll ever befriend her, there is no need to.

Do you suppose the Browns and Goldmans are friends with O.J. today? What's the difference? People who practice evil just don't make it on my friends list, period.