Absolutely, I had my kids this weekend and dropped them off at 4:00. From about noon on my heart felt like it was dropping into my stomach.

You've given a significant part of yourself to this person and they took it and rejected it, abandoned and betrayed you.

Get some relaxation exercises and practice them when you're not going to see the ex. Practice them daily until you can easily slip into them. Once you can make a mental note of to do these the next time you see your ex. Having a plan to relax in place ahead of time is important. Practicing in a safe environment is important as well. I used to have crippling anxiety (thyroid disease) and having both parts in place is important to bring you back from the edge.

You're not alone. Be strong and realize that your self-worth is in no way tied to your ex. They're worse off not having you in their life. If you need somebody to talk to in general or for some relaxation techniques send me a message, I'm more than happy to be there for you for either/both.

I can't even hear my ex's name without getting physically tense and nauseous. It's only been 3 weeks so I know it's still fresh but I sure hope it gets better. We have mutual friends, they're sweet and try not to mention him but sometimes they let things slip. I try to stay positive, assure everyone I'm fine, and yes...looking my best helps, I don't want word to get back to the enemy camp that I'm wounded. Hang in there, you're not alone!

I feel it even when shes not around. I always get that sick feeling in my stomach everyday. I just fight it and move on. It's usually triggered by what was good memories or just how she gave up. I hope one day it just goes away.

I still love my ex. I wish that I could feel like you all. I saw him last weekend, but walked away. I wanted to walk up to him, throw my arms around him as if we were still together. He still feels like the other half of me.

Oh, @bees2000... what you say is so painfully beautiful, and I am there with you. I wish I could tell you to move on, but the truth is I can't myself.
In my case, I screwed up, badly, call it childhood issues, call it weakness, arrogance, immaturity, whatever, my divorce is largely my fault. I'm still in love with her and would love to be able to hug her and tell her that. But I can't, she's not even there any more. I asked her the other day whether I was becoming just a picture on a wall to her and she replied with as much kindness as she could that this was probably an accurate description </3
So, I'm with you, I still love my ex, and she still feels like the other half of me. We should probably move on; what do you say we try to at least accept that?
As for @SadDude87's original post: yes, man, I get a TON of anxiety every single day of my life, many times a day... and night: I wake up every single night with anti-nightmares (dreams in which everything is perfect and happy, only to wake up all of a sudden into my lonely room and dark reality).
I'm also in roughly two-three weeks, so I hope this will heal some day. I'm really glad you say "a little" anxiety and only when you see her. I think you're doing pretty well and I hope you'll be mostly fine in a few weeks or a couple of months at most =)

Every day, even just thinking about her... :/

Just thinking about that my ex wife and I may be in our kids school events for the next four years gives me an anxiery. I think when one never has a closure and is left with so many an answered questions the ex becomes reminders of our darkest moments. My ex wife tells me I am choosing not to keep the friendship we had, but in her process of validating the divorce, even the friendship was minimalized like it meant nothing and that hurts more than losing her as my wife. But when I keep my self busier I do feel less anxiety and hurt. Stay strong

Yeah, my ex is trying to hold the 'no friendship' thing over my head as well. She wants to keep everything we had but the intimacy. (Have cake, eat too) I can't do that and I may never be able to do that. After 18 years she immediately moved on like it was nothing and hasn't had a single thought about how I might feel in this.

I practice relaxation techniques and start them before I know I'm going to see her. She may have wrecked me but I'm not going to show her how bad she hurt me. Not to say that haven't used words to tell her how fucked up this shit she's doing is but at least I was able to keep a neutral tone and not scream or break down into tears.

All in all she hasn't done any of the grieving so she's going to bring all of her crap into her new relationship. I'm 49% hopeful that she can make it work for the sake of my kids and 51% of me hopes she goes down in a blaze that others warn their children about. (49% being the best case scenario, to be varied by whichever emotion has the driver's seat at that particular moment)

I'm going to figure out who I am again (alone...though I'm not I feel so alone). This is going to mean working through the rejection, betrayal, abandonment, anger, sorrow, jealousy, rage, etc. ad nauseam that I've got going through me all the time.

You're going to get through this. That you're here means that you've chosen the harder path of self-discovery, correction and betterment. You'll be all the better for it and you're never alone even though it may feel like it.

Dear OP~I remember the sting of my last break up and the torture it was to see my ex, or even hear of my ex from friends of mine, at the time. My heart would just feel like it was hit with a bolt of electricity at the intense set of emotions I felt whenever his name came up. Eventually, things got better with my anxiety after a "clean break" was established with no contact, and I was able to know that I still had a future and a hope in life. It just no longer included my ex. I think that wanting to be together and knowing that it just wouldn't work out well, are the "perfect storm" to create the anxiety I was feeling when I thought about him, or saw him. And, the fact that we had shared so much together when we were with one another made it difficult to know that all of that time was now in the past, which made me want to salvage a friendship. But that was just not possible in the real world. So, I had to let go of any dreams I had of a future with my ex, and accept that fact that I was on a different path now. I clung to friends, family, my faith, and I was encouraged that my future still had hope...even without my ex. I think that eventually, once you've healed from the break up, you can see your new future too. I eventually got married to a man that was right for me, and I no longer have that "paralyzing-nervous-scary" anxiety once I healed, and was ready to date again. I've dealt with my past and I've moved on to my future hope. I have peace about my past and my present. I believe that you will too friend. ~Prayers and Blessings

Dear @EveryWomanJ2911, thanks for your message of hope.
I have no interest in life right now. I am following the book: going out, making new friends, pursuing new and old things I like, going to therapy, staying away from intimacy but close enough to girls who can show an interest in me so that I can get a confidence boost, minimizing contact with my ex, repeating myself over and over that it is over... I think I'm doing the whole lot.
Still I'm stuck thinking that I've changed so much in the last weeks (I genuinely have), that if only she had given us one more month... just one more month... Wrong verbal tense there: that if only she WOULD give us one more month... I still think of a present and a future, and anxiety kicks in.
I guess I'm stuck being unable to see that it no longer depends on me, that she gave up for her own good reasons and in her own healthy right.
It fills me with so much anxiety. I now have no home, no friends (in the city where I live, since all ended on her side for geographical reasons), no interest in work, I'm fast approaching 40 and have an enormous fear that I won't find a woman in time for kids, or maybe I will find the woman but my mood won't be there yet, I'll still be waiting for the phone call that never comes...
My therapist says I need to allow those thoughts to happen, it's not healthy to suppress them, but that I should understand that reminiscing on the past only leads to guilt and depression, while focusing on such an uncertain future that I cannot control only causes anxiety. Neither will help me out of my current ditch. All in all, I need to listen to my ex and accept that this is it!
I have no solutions, just to try and repeat myself that I need to focus on the present... but it's just such a horrible present... </3
(sorry for hijacking your post, OP! =) )

Yes I've been divorced 8 years and I get the yuck feeling sometimes.

Dear Visc~If you take all your expectations out of the present, and live your life on a day to day basis...the rest will fall into place. Your health will stabilize, the anxiety will be lost when the pressure to fulfill all your hopes and dreams instantly is removed. When you allow yourself to just be...you will find your strength returning. When you take the focus off of your expectations for yourself and just allow life to happen...you will find that your hope returns with a steady flow of days without pressure. You don't have to fix everything in one day. Its going to be okay. I really relied on my faith to encourage me through the tough times. I prayed and really sought out clarity for my life. What encourages you Visc?