Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I am starting to think that stbx got his GF so quickly after I moved out because there really was nothing between us. How can you "love" someone so deeply and just let them go within 3 months? Is that possible? Wouldnt you fight like HELL to work on your marraige if it meant something to you?
The other thing I have come to realize is this: I am of the belief that he didnt want to reconcile with me the three times I asked this past summer because...I was onto him. If we would have gotten back together, he would have had to change. He would have had to get a REAL paying job. He would have had to pay his bills and not lie to me any more about the money. I found out what he was about, 10 years later, and he didnt like that. Now he is nice as pie, and it just makes me want to puke!
Does this make sense to anyone?
The other thing I have come to realize is this: I am of the belief that he didnt want to reconcile with me the three times I asked this past summer because...I was onto him. If we would have gotten back together, he would have had to change. He would have had to get a REAL paying job. He would have had to pay his bills and not lie to me any more about the money. I found out what he was about, 10 years later, and he didnt like that. Now he is nice as pie, and it just makes me want to puke!
Does this make sense to anyone?
deleted_user
From what you have said here I would say he probably had the gf before he left and was able to keep it quiet. He may have just been leading you on to buy himself some time, one things for sure he sounds like a real user.
diemjs
No, he didnt have it in him to have a gf AND a wife!! And the other thing is, I left him. The man is so in debt, it isnt funny. Really, Im not kidding. You dont know debt until you meet my x!!!
deleted_user
I know this hurts to realize, but some people really in truly are shallow. They do not feel at the same level as others and they do not form the bonds that tie. The half hearted attempts are an indication of laziness and cowardice and preferring to start the deceit in fresh territory where the can pretend anew (until figured out) that there is more to them than there actually is. I know it stings because it happened to me.
deleted_user
My X told me I should not have reacted as badly as I did to the news he had a girlfriend two weeks after he left-because marriage had been over for a year prior to us seperating-might have told me that-didn't stop him from helping himself to his marital privilages and letting me still be his maid and cook.He did have this girl before he left-and I too thought he was incapable of handling a girlfriend and wife-I could barely get the guy to brush his teeth.And i did fight to save our marriage,couseling(though he never showed up) church, books, meds-he did nothing-he did not love me anymore-he could not wait for it to be over.
deleted_user
Yea your are probably right he did not have it in him to have a gf and a wife but I don't think he was treating you like a wife so that was not a problem. I am not trying to be hurtful but when some one is not interested or is not being active in a marriage, some thing else is going on and its usually some one else. As far as debt goes and the stbx, I know all about that slippery slope.
veeachjay
I'm sorry to disagree with you, diemjs, but you don't know debt until you meet MY HUSBAND! I do agree that the changing part is the key. Can they ever really change?????
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