Im right there with you. Im 45 and newly divorced. Not sure if ill ever recover from this. I often wonder how some can move on so quickly while others like myself have a hard time. Best wishes to you, here if you need to vent.

Hello. I also divorced late in life after 22 years of marriage. I'm here to tell you that you are not an odd unicorn LOL. Even though your EX is moved on, don't feel like you have to compete. Wait until the divorce is final before you date. Smart women avoid men who are separated or in the process. I have been on this site many years and have seen men and women hurt because they were starting or in a relationship with someone who went back to their spouse. These were people who were told, "Don't worry, it's over. We are divorcing." I'm not saying that you would do this, just that a lot of women will not even go out with you if you are still married. There is a website called meetup.com. It is NOT a dating site. Look and see if there are any groups getting together and doing things you are interested in and join them, It will get you out and meeting new people. I joined two hiking groups and there was stuff going on every weekend. I also joined two dining groups, again, always doing stuff. Many of these groups don't allow dating. Couples can come, but they don't want people joining groups to find dates. However, getting out and being around new people will increase your potential to meet someone. Dating sites are okay but there are tons of creeps there, so be smart. Bars....welll.....yuck. Good luck

50 and newly divorced after 17 years of marriage

Misred covered everything.

Just wanted to let you know you are not alone. Good luck with your journey

Thank you all for replying. I think that is helpful information. Just socializing again will be nice.

I'm sad to hear that you're having to go through a divorce, been there, but I do understand the feeling of not wanting to be alone and wanting to socialize. That said, I'd recommend before you do that you take time to heal, find out how you can improve yourself, and especially if you may want to be in a relationship again, that you work on loving and healing yourself.
As a women who has been there, and one that knew that I wanted to be married latter on, I found that taking time to "get myself together" and see where I was in error in my marriage, was the best way I could feel whole, without having got jump back in. I didn't want the next person to feel like they were a rebound relationship, so I forced myself not to date right away. Of course, it can be difficult, but I'd recommend doing so.
As for where to meet women, it all depends on who you are and what you like to do. If you want to eventually be in a relationship with someone who enjoys doing what you enjoy, then be yourself, go to where you like to be (opera, gym, church, etc.) and trust God, you'll meet her there. ;)

Thank you. That is sound advice. I guess it is just the unbelievably strong sense of loneliness that comes from knowing the one person you were closest to in the world is sharing their life with someone else, while I am just barely able to concentrate on not falling apart. You are right I need to get myself together.

I am in same boat, I was married 20 years my husband cheated and I had enough and ended it and he just moved right in with the woman he was cheating with well the last one anyways. My divorce has been final for awhile so I've been trying online dating and it's been horrible. Hopefully we will find happiness again. I wish this site allowed us to chat I think that would be helpful.

Yeah. I have heard nothing but negative things about dating sites. I agree that chatting with people in the same situations would be beneficial. Honestly even the responses to posts ease the monotony of loneliness.

I am so glad to hear I am not the only one that feels this way. A lot of our friends have taken sides and I have learned that it's difficult to trust people I used to consider friends. It would just be nice to find people who understand and to have companionship. Too many days and nights seem to be spent feeling alone.

It is very overwhelming. The lack of companionship is the most difficult part.

I know - very overwhelming.. I really do want to be okay healing and being content but the loneliness creeps in and can be very overwhelming. Can't even think about online dating (puke) but I really don't even know how to go about meeting people just to socialize and talk to.

If you read the advice from misred, I looked into the meetup.com referral and it does look quite interesting. It truly is hard to be social after devoting your life to one person. At least that is what I did. My life was just trying to make the best life for my family and then spending all my free time with them. Now the kids are almost grown and it was supposed to be pur time, now I am floundering trying to find out how I can start all over.

I am new to this site. I am also in the same situation. Married 25 yrs, together 35, I am 50, children 22, 20 and 18. My husband had a long term affair. He left on Dec 27th, has not been bad to our home. He is with his Affair partner. It is extremely lonely. I agree, it is hard to accept that I am alone and he is living his ‘dream’ life. But what I have come to realize is that I can figure out who I am. I can devote time to myself, take care of myself heal myself. He will never do any of those things because he has jumped into another relationship without figuring out why he did what he did. He doesn’t know who he is. He doesn’t know why he has a black hole in his heart, why he constantly needs admiration- why he hurt the people who love him the most. He will never be happy. You have to make yourself happy! You can’t rely on anyone else.
So get out there. I am in therapy, I go to a healer(kinda like Reiki), go the gym, do yoga, journal, and never say no to an invitation from friends. I am excited about golf season starting!! You never know when or where you will meet someone. But you have to be ready. I am not even thinking about dating. I have decided to give myself a year. A year to heal and trust people again.
Just take care of yourself first, a positive, self confident person is always attractive.

You are not the only one. I was married for over a decade and am recently divorced after my exwife’s affair. We were separate for over a year. In that time period she dated a handfull of different guys, I dated zero women. I also gave zero fucks about dating. I have been concentrating on taking care of my kid, being a good dad, and doing things that make me happy. So yes there are times it’s lonely, but you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else. Don’t rush it.

At 60 years old my wife told me she wanted a divorce. That was the begining of the end of a 25 year marriage december 2016, We were seperated until august 2017 when the divorce was final. Divorce is never easy, Life after divorce is not easy, but the simplest advice is to be comfortable with yourself, then you would be in a better position to move on with relationships with others.