((((((Llmt)))))))
It's hard. My stbx has the kids for visitation this weekend, so it's up to him to have them home when I ask him to on Sunday. He has already told me he will bring them when he damn well pleases :( I hate this too. More hugs!!

I hear you. In the mdist of all my frustration with my stbx it gets me sad thinking this weekend will be me my girls and my family. I actually just took a walk and sat on a bench thinking...how did I get here? How did this happen. Me all alone on a bench...it's like my avatar...me all alone out in the middle of no where. It is just so sad. But WE will get through this for our own sanity and our kids sake. Last night I got home with my girls and sat on the couch. Me holding my youngest and my oldest sitting in my lap with my arms around her. I thought how this is nice...we will get through this and we will be ok.

It sucks, it truly does, but it becomes a new normal. You won't always feel this way, but the first few holidays, maybe even a year or two of them will be hard and tinged with grief or loneliness. And you don't know what is around the corner for you. My ex wanted our son for Thanksgiving. No problem, I made dinner for myself and a girl friend. I have a feeling that my holidays will once again be shared with someone else, but until that time I feel more like, eh, another holiday. I was already for my ex to want our son for Easter and I wasn't going to fight it, but I think he's headed for PA instead. Whatever.

It is sad, and I'm so sorry.

I don't know why life has to be like this.

Hugs to you, and wishing you at least some moments of joy this Easter.

((((llmt))))

I don't like this either. I suppose one commort is that it's not Thanksgiving or Christmas. Small comfort.

I hear you...we're missing my stepdaughter too. It's her birthday this weekend, on top of it all! My son and I will be doing SOMETHING but it's just not the same as having plans with all of us here. ((Hugs))

I've been invited to ex's family's Easter get together (he won't be there). I've debated whether or not to go--it will just seem really weird to be there without him there.

But I really want to see his mom and dad. They are getting on in years; don't know when/if I will see them again.

Each holiday you survive makes the next one a little easier. Be good to yourselves.

Thank you to all...you made me feel justified feeling this way and a little happier to know I am not the only one.

I know it's hard, limt, but I hope you get over that isolated feeling. Holidays should be a time of celebration and I hope you can get there.

Big hugs,

Lynne

I agree you do need a Vacation, enjoy the time away with the boys.

Easter is the day that I found out that crackhead was having an affair, the Holiday kinda still sucks. This Easter Crackdaddy will be spending it in jail, kinda sucks for him now too.

I'm starting new holiday traditions. Change is good, right? It all works out. ((((llmt))))

holidays and other "first times" doing things by yourself will be hard and almost seem awkward. All I can say is that as each one goes by, you get through another moment in this that will continue to make you stronger as you continue to forge ahead.

*bear hug*
J

(((Llmt)))
I am right there with you... It's odd really. I have no feelings for my ex, but when it comes to holidays, there is still a twinge of longing for the whole family setting. Her parents are very Norman Rockwell-esque and the holidays were always memorable in contrast to when I have him with me now. I'm still adjusting to it when I have him over for the holidays as it is just him and me - my family is 300 miles away. In time these feelings will pass and we'll create all new awesome memories.

L, Don't let the sad feeling wear on your spirit. Look at the bright side(yes I hate that saying to) your spending time with you boys and they are most important. My son is back visiting his mother so I'm by myself this week, just trying to plan out my days and staying busy so I don't have time to miss the little sucker. Don't know how much success I'll have but just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep up the "GoodFight". Keeping you guys in my prayers!

I didn't think Sunday would be a big deal. Easter never mean anything to us apart from dyeing some eggs and hiding them and some candy for our son on Easter morning. We never had an extended family dinner in 20 years.

But my mom invited my son and I over for dinner and one of my other brothers and sister in law came too. I was acutely aware that my wife was absent while we were all at the table. I put on a good show, but had to excuse myself right after dessert to go cry in the bathroom.

llmt, you said, "it just hit me about an hour ago...a premise of what my life will be. It just makes me so f'in sad." I came to the same realization yesterday.

((((llmt))))