HeaveToo, I feel the same way. I do so much better with structure and routine. What about joining a gym or something like that? Taking a walk around the marina the same time every morning? That way, you meet people, get out, get some exercise.

Eventually you may decide to move around the bend. I waited around for my stbx for a long time. I had to wait until I was ready to move forward with letting him go. In the meantime, I just tried to have some type of life.

Try to find a way to take care of yourself, while you are waiting. (((HeaveToo)))

I hate those sorts of mornings :(

I too was dumped on the path and didn't want to go anywhere, but stbx would have left me standing there far too long. As wrong as it feels to me, being proactive and doing things is better for me than just waiting.

So instead of just standing there, if you don't feel like walking, how about doing a bit of gardening :) *








* I have no idea if that makes any sense, but it sounded insightful....

Ha ha ha....only thing I could grow in a garden round my hose is seaweed. MorningTide....I had to leave my house so I live on a boat.

The marina is deserted in the morning. I wish I was at a bigger marina but I don't want to move from this one (besides, I am paid for another 8 months at this place and itis one less bill)

It is just a matter of clearing the air I guess.

So much for metaphors :p

Is that your boat in your avatar HeaveToo?

You could container garden! And then walk around them!

ok ok, those suggestions aren't going to work. But I guess my point is, make a routine for yourself. Find some things to do that make you happy, or at least as happy as you can get at the time.

I do find that going to a gym, to the 8am classes, makes me feel better. Same group of people, we talk, we laugh. It's just getting out there and feeling like I belong somewhere. Find some kind of activity like that. It might help.

Or get some buoys and plant things in the top of them....like an aquatic hanging basket :)

hmm, my metaphorical garden on the metaphorical path has turned into bobbing floral arrangements....I'm going to stop now....

Yep...for now it is my boat and my home.

It was funny. WHen my wife found out that I was living on the boat she said "You don't have to do that." I responded "I don't have a house, you took that, the boat is the only place that I have that is mine."

As was said in the song "Southern Cross"

I have my ship
And all of her flags are a flyin'
She is all that I have left
and music is her name.

That is the way I feel right now!

Hi Heavetoo,

Doesn't the waking up with the blues drive ya nuts?! All the posts are right, you need a routine.

I've have joined so many things and volunteered for things that my calendar looks like a road map now--arrows, lines, dates, red marks everywhere!

Like the other posts say, you need to get out with other people. I belong to a gym, signed up for some of their classes (toning and conditioning, salsa dancing), volunteer at library and hospital, make plans for every weekend--I always make sure they are busy. Helps to fill the time, make new memories, meet new people, and discover new passions.

As far as cutting your losses, that's a tough one. That's a real personal decision. I tossed my stbx out and filed for divorce immediately after confronting him (he suggested counseling but this is his second time of having an affair, that I know of). I just decided I can't live with a cheater anymore. I deserve better than what I was getting.

Please don't look at ending your marriage as YOUR sin; she is the one who turned your world upside down by wanting out. As far as I'm concerned, the sin falls on those people who make a mockery of marriage vows.

Hope this helps. I'm sorry you're hurting today. I hope you feel better soon.

Peace and hugs.

Thanks Hurting....I agree with some of it. I hesitate to do anything permament because I know what my wife is capible and I know what her good side is like. She can be an incredible person. That is who I love. I don't love the cold person who told me that they don't have feelings for me because we are different.

Life is such duality. If my wife had cheated I would be gone....I don't play those games. That is the most intimate of things and it shouldn't be taken lightly. I don't share that.

I have never asked anything from anyone that I wouldn't expect myself to do.

Hi Heave...I know you are hurting so bad right now. You love her and she doesn't love you. Age old story of woe. This is so fresh and new for you though. I promise it will get easier. Try not to focus on her negatives but rather her positives. The good memories you shared over the years together. Let go of the present but cherish the past for what it was. A great chapter in your life. But now it's time to write the next one. Yes it's painful to think of things changing. But it can be a good thing if you let it. Better to move on and find a new happiness than to hang on to something that isn't there anymore. Your relationship ran its course. You are a bright, interesting man. I'm sure your future will include new love. It may not be what you want right now, but it isn't a bad thing. You'll see. :)