Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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llmt 05/03/2013

Today would have been my 16th wedding anniversary. Funny how I didn't realize until I had to write the date at work. I can't say I feel completely sad, I guess just indifferent is the word. Being that my son is having major issues with this right now, and blaming me for the divorce (as he stated yesterday), I feel sad for him and my 5 year old. I just think I needed to just express this. Tears are welling up in my eyes now....damn.
I want to say it's better after 3 years of being divorced, but it's not...not for my children, who are struggling with the loss of having a nuclear family. So today, as bad as this may sound, I will be mad at my ex, for causing this for them. On this day that we were married and supposed to be "death do us part", I think he deserves a little bit of my nastiness. Thank you for letting me vent.

deleted_user 05/03/2013

My anniversary will be in June....would've been 10 yrs and before he left in February he kept talking about how we are gonna renew our vows while he was still having an affair....loser. so today for you...don't be mad....feel sorry for him because look what he lost. HIS LOSS!!! He doesn't deserve you.

deleted_user 05/03/2013

Hey llmt--I'm sorry for your pain. It sucks! It's not just the deception, it's the loss of everything that that "should have been" (what you believed in--e.g., that marriage is a commitment).
I'm sorry that your son is having difficulty and is blaming you--I'm sure that's a kid's way of dealing with it... lashing out at the parent they trust--the one who they feel safe with--'cos they're hurt. :(
Just get through today--by blaming your ex if you have to. (Hey--do you have a dartboard? Stick a picture of your ex on it and hurl those darts! Or put a pic of him on the wall and play pin the tail [or whatever else] on the DONKEY!). Know that tomorrow will be a fresh new day that won't be your anniversary.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((llmt)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
(I know it's easy to say and not so easy to live through, but that's what we're here for, right? To help each other through the bad days and share the good ones. Be kind to yourself, lady.)

deleted_user 05/03/2013

Oh, and--of course you'd know this, but--play those games where your children can't see! :D --> Go to a friend's house who has a dartboard or a wall...

llmt 05/03/2013

LMAO. I wish I could but I'm so indifferent in my end that I really don't care. I'm just sad on my kids end which makes me more angry. You always have a little part of you, even as time goes on, that thinks about the what-it's or the way things should have been.

deleted_user 05/03/2013

Kids do get angry. The important thing for you to do is to not show your anger. The more upbeat you are about your new lives together, the happier they will become. Kids feed off their parents' emotions. If they sense that you feel a loss FOR them, and that you feel sorry for them, then they will take that as believing that they lost something and should be felt sorry for. Don't feel sorry for them. Many kids live in very dysfunctional nuclear families, and grow up messed up because of that. You're saving your kids from such an upbringing. You should feel joy at that. Show that joy to your kids.

deleted_user 05/03/2013

I know the day, but I'd have to do math to figure out what anniversary it is. I'm good with that. LOL

deleted_user 05/03/2013

in june, 14 years for me..........last year really hurt..........i am expecting bittersweet again this year but not the sting. but i agree, better off?
days like aniv just serve to remind of what we lost really. trigger days.

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