Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members

100,360 Posts

1 Online

kasharoo 12/08/2016

I dunno. The last two days I've been alright. The meds are helping me and I've been trying to stay busy. I've been taking my day literally one step at a time, sometimes ten minutes at a time to keep myself mentally healthy. I'm naturally a perky and upbeat person, when I'm not going through a divorce. So today when I come home from yoga with my friend, I'm joking around with her because she's my best friend and we just went to yoga and she knows how to make me feel better. T must have thought that means that I'm doing alright in general so he started a conversation about our divorce.

Can I not have one minute without this consuming me? Am I not allowed an hour of peace where I feel like myself? It's so frustrating. I know we have to talk about these things, but he already told me yesterday that he didn't want to file anything until the new year. So why are we having this conversation right now? And then he proceeds to sound excited when he says that we can just do it ourselves if we agree on everything and not have to go through lawyers, which would be much less expensive. It's the same tone of voice he's had when we've planned to do things together in the past as a couple. How can he possibly be so excited and ok with this? It really got me down and hurt my feelings. Definitely gonna need the anxiety meds before bed tonight. I feel so unappreciated. I feel like the 16years we have spent together are disposable. How can he sound positive about this? This thing that has shattered my world and changed my future.

Anyway, we didn't argue. I just told him I'm not in a good place to talk about that right now and he said ok. But still. The gall. How many times am I going to let this man hurt me before my heart kicks in and falls out of love with him. I hope it happens soon.

Koko 12/08/2016

The thing I don't understand about these walk away spouses is that they cannot understand the pain they put us through. Have some compassion. It sucks that the man that you trusted the most and thought you'd grow old with doesn't care what happens to you anymore. When I say you I mean us..

CrushedDad 12/08/2016

My wife is the same way. Her emails to the financial advisor and mediator working with us seem almost giddy. It feels like a punch in the gut every time she forwards one of them. She can't get this done fast enough! Several weeks ago she said I was treating her like shit by ignoring her here at home. I said, "you told me you don't love me and want to divorce me-how should I react to that??". Said that's why she took her wedding ring off-because of how I was treating her. You mean it's not because you don't love love me and want to divorce me? Hang in there and stay strong. These walk away spouses suck and we can't let them define us anymore.

Koko 12/09/2016

UGH these people. My husband said something similar like, "The way you have been acting towards me makes me not want to be here." Um hello you're the one who told me you don't love me, said those hurtful things and asked for divorce. I didn't know I was supposed to make you feel good about it. Jerk.

kasharoo 12/09/2016

I'm so sorry guys. I don't understand how they can do this either.

samantha717 12/09/2016

My stbx said something very similar to me, Koko, shortly after he filed. I was hurting and anger and most of all scared to death, so I shut down. I wouldn't talk to him except for whenever I had to and then I would only give him the shortest answer possible. I tried to stay upstair too, out of his sight. He did not like that one bit and told me that if I continued behaving that way, it was just pushing him out faster. I took that to mean he didn't want to see how much it affected me. It was a lot easier for him to focus only on himself or convince himself that I deserved that and everything that lead up to it in our marriage if he didn't have to see how much it affected me.

Koko 12/09/2016

It is very selfish. I guess they have to justify in their minds that the divorce was the right thing to do. It would be easier if my husband just accepted his part of the failure in our marriage.

Join the Conversation