Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
i recently got divorced from my husband after being married for 17 years. I left him because I was tired of doing everything in the marriage and trying to make it work. Neither of us cheated and thankfully we never had kids. I was the sole supporter for most of the marriage and I somehow feel like I failed even though our relationship wasn't healthy and I literally tried everything I could to make it work. I wasn't in love with him and I don't think much about him but I think it's more the guilt that I had promised myself I would never get divorced and I did, my depression and anxiety are really bad and I feel like killing myself. I feel like I'm being too hard on myself that I should be over it by now even though it was half my life spent with him. I have wonderful family and friends and I'm in love with my new boyfriend but I somehow just still feel terrible like I'm some horrible person. Our divorce was amilcable and we don't fight or really talk to each other. Does it take forever to get over divorce and how do you get to a point where you are okay.
At first, It seemed like there were a lot of ups and downs. as time went on, there were more good days, and less setbacks. I think I ended up measuring progress by seeing how much less the setbacks were in comparison to the good days. 17yrs is a long time to be married. Don't be too hard on yourself that you're not able to get over it quickly.
I tired dating after a year, and I wasn't ready. The woman was nice, and I really enjoyed her company, but it just wasn't time. I tried dating again after 3 years and things were much better. Had lost some weight, made some new friends, some new hobbies, better peace of mind, etc.
When you're first divorced, you spend a lot of time thinking about the past and not as much on the future. As time progresses, the past becomes more distant and the present fills your time and mind more and more. One day you wake up and realize you haven't felt bad about the past for a week. The next year, you measure it by the month. Its ok to have a few bad days. Just know that they will become fewer and further between. Fwiw, it's been 6 years now since I was divorced, and I feel pretty good about most things now. I can look back at the past, marriage, her affair, the breakup, and not feel angry or sad. Mostly just a sense of "that was then, and now is different" and be glad that I am not where I was back then.
Is not a good idea. Just for the reasons you
Said and much more.
You need to grieve and walk thru the muck,
Face your demons and feel your hurt and
Pain. Its a sucky journey ask anyone on here.
New relationships are bandaids, delayed Grief
can be pretty intense and often misunderstood
Where its coming from.
I would suggest therapy and divorce care, thats
Me. I was in for 30 years 18 good, 12 increasingly
Bad. I had 30 years to walk around in and own my
Part too. None of it is simple or easy. HUGS
I never had all these MH issues until the last
4 years. I now suffer with depression, anxiety and
Stress. Its all the grieving and divorce related Issues.
Things got real bad for the last 12 years of our
marriage too. Its one big snowball of repressed
Feelings, emotions, rage and anger that need to
come out and be felt.
Generally when our body is talking we need to
Learn to listen and pay attention. HUGS