Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So yesterday, my husband left me for the second time.
Some background- this was my second marriage and it lasted 6 years. I met him online gaming. We had children from previous marriages. I moved to be with him -from east coast to west coast- and left my children behind.We had made agreements- Stay in his area until his children graduated, then move back to my hometown to see my children graduate. During this move back, my husband decided there was enough space in between that he would retire early. He had always lived on the west coast. I knew that the move would be hard on him, so I let him do most of the selection- what home to purchase, where it was- he even worked on it 6 months before I could move there, due to work. We had our normal disagreements. We had gotten a dog in the beginning of our marriage and after 5 months he was trying to get rid of him, didnt want him in the house, found him to be a burden. When I moved to be with him- I left everything behind to live in his house, since it was his house, he made the rules. So I tried to live by them, along with how he wanted his kids raised. When we moved back to the east coast, the new house I paid for. I dealt with my kids, and the dog was still an issue. He started kicking the dog, and saying he was being disrespected by everyone. Anyways, he left me in spring. He had been doing a lot of online/phone gaming and I had questioned him about it. When he left, he said it was to make some money- he was kind of bored, and we were arguing a bit much. After he left about 2 1/2 months in, he decided to cut all ties. A pleaded with his family to have him contact me, after two weeks he did. Asked if I would come visit and I did. He moved back within 2 weeks, saying he didnt know what he had and bought a 4wheeler stating to show me that he would not leave again. A few weeks ago, I found he had been taking pictures and posting them on his game-- mind you -- this guy doesnt like his picture taken by any family member... After Our decent conversation about it, life went on. Until yesterday when I asked to see his game. He pitched a fit,stated he was unhappy and that he was done, when should he leave. I made the remark that he could not stay here and be retired and live off me without contributing. So he stated he would leave, and give me everything.- I would like to add he has money, and was able to contribute- he chose not to- I paid all the bills.
This was the man I told to my first exhusband-- he is the one. The one I want to live the rest of my life with, retire with, grow old, travel.
And now it is gone. I have no way to contact him, and I will not burden his family. Im sorry- I feel really bad, I must be awful to live with. I must be destined to be alone. I know we wont get back together- I hurt because I dont have the person I love with me, and that I made him so unhappy . I feel like it was all because of a game that it happened................................
And I don't think it was you. there's a reason a guy close to retirement is single even when he has money. It's because he is not good marriage material.
My guess is he was flirting with someone and didn't want you to see what he was doing/chatting in his game. He met you in a game. I'd say meeting girls in games is what excites him.
xx I am so sorry for your loss. Be careful for the future. Know someone a while before you date. Date from your own locality.
WOW that’s a leap! There are many reasons why someone close to retirement age with money is single..!
And to the OP...honestly this didn’t sound good from the beginning. And if someone kicked my dog they’d be missing a leg.
He seems like a serial cheater who might have been looking for another place to jump when you caught him. Since he was always leaving anyways, he just expedited his plan when she irritated him by catching him out. My clue that he probably didn't plan to stay was not merging finances or at least kicking in for the cost of their new home. That should have been a huge red flag.
The kicking the dog and other nasty behaviors should have been deal breakers but for some reason they weren't for the OP. That worries me. Do you have a bottom when it comes to deplorable behavior out of a man? I'm supposing not, because after the first dog and pony show, you went through his family to get contact so you could beg him to come back.
I almost could not believe the end of the post where the OP stated she hurts because she can't have the man she LOVES with her. My question is: How can you actually love a person with so few redeeming qualities?
The fact you honestly think this all because of the game shows an astonishing lack of self-awareness and good judgement. This has nothing to do with the game. It's because you mistook infatuation for love. Love is built off mutual attraction, trust and respect. You relationship seemed to have had lots of the first and little of the latter two qualities, therefore I don't believe it was love. Love needs to be mutual to be real, otherwise it's just an some bizarre emotion of jumbled up want, need, lust and longing.