Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi, I am writing cause I could really use some help. Little back story, My STBX and I have been seperated since 2014. During that time I met someone and so did he. When I was not with anyone he would try to get back with me, sleeping with me, texting me ect. This came to an end when we decided to be friends. Then his mother died and he turned to me and broke it off with the girlfriend. We decided to try to put the past behind us and move forward together. We did this or though I thought so.
He was seeing both of us at once. My children found out about it, they are 13,12 and 10. We split again and then talked. He said she was gone and that he wanted to fully see where we could go. We did some activites with the kids, but never alone. He then said we were not compatable. I pointed out that he never really gave us a chance, but it is what it is. Of course I was hurt all over again. But then he went back with the girlfriend. I explained to him that the kids were going to have a hard time adjusting to this again, since they knew she was in the picture while we were trying to make things work.
Father's day he took my daugter to the waterpark. She came into the house crying. I went to ask her what was wrong and she told me they spent their time there with this girl and her daughter. He told my daughter that she ruined his day. She didn't want to go on the big rides and she was upset. He bought this other little girl snacks and things but not my daughter because she was not being very happy about being there. Of course we got into it. He called me names and said Im ruining his life. Im a f... bitch I'm a f.... cu.... I don't call him names, but I did ask him if he told his gf again we were divorced he said yes, I asked him if he told her we slept together again, he of course said no. He is lying again, I know not my problem.. I don't know this man.
BUT what do I do about my kids? I know I cant control who is sees, but I can't encourage them to like her either.
Please help.. and please no bashing. I know sleeping with him doesnt help me move on and i feel like second best already.
thanks,
It is my thought that you have a self-esteem and self-confidence issue that you MUST address. You can survive on your own merits. He knows your personality and continues to take advantage of you because he can. He must understand the new boundaries which he can no longer cross. Start getting involved with things that interest you and your children. Become your own women!
That is good advice. While yes my self-esteem and self-confidence has taken a hit, some days are better than others. You are right he does know me very well. I am trying to take steps to find what I want these days. I would of never of thought I would ever feel like his whore but that is what he has made me feel like.. I hope that the days moving forward I will be strong. Thank you for your advice. Hits really hard when someone who is supposed to love you picks another over you. Self-confidence is shot.