Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I am 23 I can drink with control and have never had a problem with alcohol . But my soon to be ex wife is 21 and is falling deep into it and it sucks to watch . She is so in denial about it too . She will drink Friday, Saturday and Sunday and then also during the week an available. I don't understand how she doesn't see that as a problem. She uses the excuse a lot of young people use . Oh were just having fun or I just want to have fun and be happy. But I don't know if I am wrong I guess some of you more experienced people will be able to help. But doesn't alcohol lead to depression so it's like a cycle you drink and you're happy to just wake up and feel bad again when you're back in the real world .
Her whole life is going in the drain because if this obsession to drink to be happy and have fun . She's making bad decision while under the influence like trying to have relations with other guys. Or actively seeking other men . It seems to me she's hurting really bad and doesn't want to admit it and instead is drowning it with alcohol . At this point I can't be with this person but it sucks to watch some one throw there life away and have such little self worth . She says she wants to end it with me so she can have sex with who ever she wants and do what she wants in other words get drunk all the time and have drunk sex . She was sexually assaulted at a clue drugged to be exact . And I wonder if that has caused her to seek more of that . I don't understand how something like alcohol can have so many bad things tied to it and bad consequences in her life but yet she won't admit she has a problem . She says that is is in happy with her life and where she has made it so far. But She shows no motivation to improve or to get up and make a change . It sucks watching some one you love going down the drain and not being able to help .
Ps I posted this under alcoholism but I figured I might also get some feed back and perhaps some one who understands what it's like like to watch your marriage go down the drain because of alcohol from this thread
Therapy. Its awful stuff to watch and cope With
even if they do get sober a high percent still
Relapse.
She needs to hit her bottom first and seek AA.
Many drink to cover their pain and hurt from abuse
And family of origin issues.
You do not need To get STD or dragged into her
crazy lifestyle and get dragged thru her Mud.
Some people stay married thats your choice And
your life, you are young take care of yourself. You
can not fix or control her only yourself. HUGS
Causes bad feelings and resentments. The addict
Need to bottom out and seek help for themselves.
HUGS
Ganging up on someone is super risky, never works, and that's even with a professional.
It will cause massive resentment, violates rights and boundaries and exacerbates the situation.
The people who put that show and celebrity rehab on the air should be shot.
They gave lay people the idea that they could and should in fact control and manipulate someone else, then sent the family to "treatment" as well, where they're told in Al-Anon and Coda groups that you can't control and manipulate someone else and to focus on yourself. Lol.
All to feed and promote the rehab industry.
Too bad people love to watch a train wreck. It never would have lasted on the air.
All of this to me makes no sense I get the fun. I do it too on occasion but I keep it under control . In the two years we have been married I have only gotten drunk once while we were on vacation in a safe environment with family . It was fun but I understand there's a time and a place.
It's difficult to try and get her to understand that. My wife has no life interest besides drinking . No motivation to clean or get a job . The only motivation she has is for Friday night's to get drunk because it's "fun"
I feel bad because when she hits 30 years of age she's still going to be acting and thinking like a kid . Because of all the alcohol use n
Not only is it an exercise in futility even if someone is genuinely Ill, people have rights.
She's got a right to do whatever she wants until she breaks the law. We all do.
Your focus needs to be on yourself. If she's bothering you your option is to get out of the relationship.
If you stay you can't stay and want to change her. She is what she is.
We can't get involved with people and try to make them into who we want them to be