I'm so sorry this is happening to you, it sounds really hard. Divorce is devastating. Your ex-husband sounds like a dick.

My advice to you is take all the solace you can from this Board, because it helps me a lot, take some time to do things that you enjoy, esp. that your ex didn't like you to do, take up a new, distracting hobby to take up your time, journal through the bad feelings, get a therapist and go weekly, it can help a lot.

Hope this helps. On the other side of hate is forgiveness. You will get there one day. It just takes time.

thankyou

As if the rejection and betrayal of your ex husband wasn't enough, you have family members who you don't feel are supporting you. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Do you have close friends that you could reach out to at this point? Keeping it all inside is the worst thing you could do because it will fester and become unbearable. Voice your anger, to friends, a therapist, on this forum, into a journal, through poems - any way of getting it out will be beneficial.

Thinking of you x

That is so shitty
I still carry hatred in my heart two years after separation....seeing her new boyfriend does not help....and her behaviour of the last two years has just poured more and more gasoline on my hate

Betrayal of friends and her family does not help

But my few friends are loyal to me and new people in my life
I am fortunate my family is thousands of miles away and she had never bothered to foster close relationships with them in 19 years

I am sorry how wretched this is for you

Find new connections and cherish those who remain loyal to you

Eventually your new life will ease your pain and give you new hope

Hang in there

A similar thing happened to me. M brother and his wife have become best friends with my ex and his girlfriend and have cut me out completely. My ex is very charismatic and a chameleon and so the side he shows to the public is not the side I was married to.

There abandonment has really broken my heart. I don't feel that I really trust anyone these days.

I had a similar thing happen. My ex abused our children (significantly enough that they were going to school bruised and cut, and the school called CPS several times until he was removed by a social worker.)

When I finally got the kids and I free, my family all sided with him. He's such a nice guy, they said. He'd never do that. My mother called me a liar when I called her in tears. My brother and sister stayed his friends. Eventually, he moved in with MY parents. I was devastated.

It took me several years in therapy to release my anger about this. It's not totally gone yet - sometimes something will trigger those feelings of grief and anger for me and I will sink into it for a day or two. But it's manageable now.

I had to cut my family out of my life. It was awful and hard when I felt like I was losing everything else. but it was the right decision and it made me so much happier.

I did a lot of journaling, and a lot of meditation, and a lot of talking and crying to a therapist I trusted. I built a new social support network, made new friends, renewed old friendships. I did nice things for myself to remind myself I was a great person. I brutally yanked weeds and chopped wood in the yard. I screamed into my pillow more nights than I can count.

Today I can focus on my children and myself and the happy life we lead. The pain isn't always at the front of my mind any more.

I'm really sorry you are going through this. Remember it is not your fault, they are doing something hurtful.