Have sex 24/7.

I wouldn't do anything different. I loved him the best way I could. I took care of the home the best way I could. I contributed with my labor the best way I could. I romanced him the best way I could. I was simply not enough.

I am so far from entering a new relationship its not even funny!!!! but, what I know I will do differently is i will refuse to lose myself in his life, wants, needs, desires....I will nurture myself and my spirit and my soul so i will be able to offer the next man me as a whole...until I can do that I am not ready....

I would not be an enabler...I enabled my ex to get away with bad behavior.........If I had called her on the BS she started pulling way back 20 years ago we would either split then or we would still be a couple.....but as time went on she just kept getting worse and I allowed it to happen...never again.....(31 years married)

Christy07...I like your answer.....

Z he is an idiot....to let you get away

Love somebody with a heart.

Before getting into another relationship I want to know the next person better, their behavior in good and bad times, be able to match compatibility not only mentally, sexually but also emotionally. This is a phase that takes time and the more I read about it or listen to my friends the more I see how the new relationship after a breakup appears to be almost desperate for rush. No one wants to build friendship to develop into love anymore why is that, I wonder?...

I'd speak up more instead of burying my head in the sand and hoping it will all go away.

I will also not change to be more like him.
I'll be myself and if he doesn't like it, then "there's the door pal, don't let it hit you in the ass on your way out"!

Hey Pemdcat, How difficult it must have been to break away from someone after 31 years, but somehow I feel that you are happy, enjoying life, having peace and embracing it. You are a very nice person and deserve the best! We all do...

It isn't something that I am over joyous about, no one want to give 31+ years but I couldn't fix her as well I tried.......outr daughter had been telling me to divorce her mother for the last 12-14 years......but you are right I have healed along the way and I will tell all that there is life after divorce...a good life.......

I will never choose another alcoholic. Period.

1)I agree with pemdcat, I will not be an enabler.
2)I will be a friend to her first.
3) I will check out her family and see if there are signs of mental illness.
4) I will make sure she has the same ideas and values about religion, money management and lifestyle.
5) I will make sure that I will never be used, manipulated or abused again.

Pay attention to those RED FLAGS now that I know what they are and what they lead to.

Im with kimmee on this one...

I will NEVER chose another alcoholic.....ever.

Other than that I wouldnt change anything else. I loved him with all I had, I worked my ass off to have a beautiful home, careers, and am a fantastic mother to my son. It wasnt what he wanted.

Next time I will choose wisely, and someone who is on the same page as me. Someone who shares my morals and ideals.