Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I've had really only two serious relationships in my life, but both times the breakups get me so down that I'm just realizing that maybe I can't be in them ever.
When I was younger I never really felt anything for my "non-serious" relationships, so I figured I'd never have a problem breaking up. It was always easy. But in my two since, I've just been left with this horrible feeling.
I used to post on here after dealing with my first breakup, but since then I eventually moved on though it took a long time. I dated another girl for almost two years, but she ended things with me. I won't get too into detail at the moment, but we both tried to patch things up after (mostly me) but after three months of being broken up she finally said it wasn't working.
I figured I woudn't care when we broke up, and that I learned from my last relationship that things would just get better, but it doesn't really work that way.
We haven't talked in a few weeks and honestly I just feel like shit. I try to avoid thinking about her, and I removed her from FB, and don't check her Twitter or Tumblr, but today I finally slipped.
She acts like she is so over me, and never seems to struggle with not talking anymore, although she did at first. Every day I just want to talk to her but I know I shouldn't. Its hard talking to my friends about it because most guys don't really understand what its like to be me.
Its kind of sad but I'm starting to think maybe I just can't be in relationships. I'm still so young (21) but really it just leads to so much misery and bad thoughts.
I'll be graduating college soon, going to my brother's wedding, and all of this exciting things but for some reason I just can't get over our breakup and its just always bringing me down.
When I was younger I never really felt anything for my "non-serious" relationships, so I figured I'd never have a problem breaking up. It was always easy. But in my two since, I've just been left with this horrible feeling.
I used to post on here after dealing with my first breakup, but since then I eventually moved on though it took a long time. I dated another girl for almost two years, but she ended things with me. I won't get too into detail at the moment, but we both tried to patch things up after (mostly me) but after three months of being broken up she finally said it wasn't working.
I figured I woudn't care when we broke up, and that I learned from my last relationship that things would just get better, but it doesn't really work that way.
We haven't talked in a few weeks and honestly I just feel like shit. I try to avoid thinking about her, and I removed her from FB, and don't check her Twitter or Tumblr, but today I finally slipped.
She acts like she is so over me, and never seems to struggle with not talking anymore, although she did at first. Every day I just want to talk to her but I know I shouldn't. Its hard talking to my friends about it because most guys don't really understand what its like to be me.
Its kind of sad but I'm starting to think maybe I just can't be in relationships. I'm still so young (21) but really it just leads to so much misery and bad thoughts.
I'll be graduating college soon, going to my brother's wedding, and all of this exciting things but for some reason I just can't get over our breakup and its just always bringing me down.
I guess my issue comes from just comparing myself to other people. My ex at least tells me she is moved on and wouldn't care if I saw other people, whereas you're damn right I would still feel sad/angry if she did haha.
That and most of my friends are either in a relationship for a long time and don't really seem to care about breakups. They all seem to move on, see other girls, and just not care. And talking to them feels like talking to a brick wall because I feel like we're completely different people.
I really appreciate your post and you are totally right, and I appreciate you bringing this angle to my mind. I sort of figured the past two years is kind of a waste now that we both have to be moved on, but you're right maybe I can learn from it.
I wish I could have learned from the time before how to break up, as that took a REALLY long and painful time. I've learned some things, like how you can't keep talking to your ex even if its the easy thing to do, and hopefully that will make it easier.
I think that yes, you are too young, but that doesn't mean tht the way you think or view relationships it's off - just sounds like are and will always be more commitment driven - but sometimes that comes w/a price. I would say, be yourself and don't let the world change you. You will in time meet someone who's like you. Till then, take your time and do not think you shouldn't be in a relationship again, you are still very young. Your outlook is awesome in terms of how you express your feelings and how you are reacting - it's okay to feel sadness, a void, etc. Sit on that for a bit but get back up and live. Focus on your education and on yourself. I think you will make an excellent bf to a lucky girl one day. Take your time.
Good luck.
I was so close to graduation, and it would have been so nice being able to have a girlfriend to live with after college, but it looks like I'll be home again with my parents after school. Not that there is anything horribly wrong with that, but I just don't really know how I am going to find it easier to meet people under those circumstances haha
However, though its not easy, I kinda do appreciate being single. Getting to meet with exotic guys with interesting lives. I want someone to bring something new and unexpected to my life. I lived through a bad experience and I want someone who CAN make it up for me.
My exes can have whoever. They are still themselves and I am not interested anymore. If they were my perfect matches they wouldnt have gave up on me or us. I dont want that. If they are afraid of difficulties in the future and choose to break up with me, they are not who I am looking for. I want STRONG individuals to be around me. If I am not good enough for them, then I dont want to be with them.
Sooooo if you would like another prospective, I say look at what YOU WANT. And the fact that she broke up with you and seems to move on, is not what you want. People who move on easily can be dangerous. I reckon a solid relationship would go beyond this.
It is hard indeed, I feel you. I take my relationships seriously and pour my heart into them. Its bad being reckless with other peoples emotions and hearts. Yet, I got hurt a lot. And with every word and every action, I learnt about other people, men and myself. I would like to think that I grew experienced and stronger. And as a woman, I am proud of this :)
Enough rambling about myself lol
Spoil yourself and make peace with it is my best advice :)