I missed you all...I am back...it's symbiotic...I wanted to share...

*disclaimer...just my opinion based on information that I have experienced over time*

ABCs of Recovering From a Break Up.

A Allow yourself plenty of time to heal. Different people heal at different rates so be patient with yourself. Its okay to grieve and cry, just make sure you make an effort to not use this as an excuse for being a hermit many months later.

B Busy, Stay busy. Dont allow yourself any daydreaming time. Focus on anything you enjoy. Take up some volunteer work. Take up a hobby. Stay focused, stay positive.

C Counseling, Seek professional therapy. There is no shame in seeking outside help. If you cant afford therapy, seek out a support from a relationship recovery message board. (Oh, you are here already? Good Step Forward).

D Dealing with It! Dealing with depression, anxiety, abandonment issues are difficult. Try to research as much information you can find on the subjects for helpful information towards your healing.

E - Exercise and improve your diet. Besides giving you a positive endorphin rush, joining a gym can put you into social circumstances. Through exercising and improving your diet, youll not only be taking care of your body and your health, youll improve your self-esteem as well.

F - Focus on yourself. Much of your energy went into your relationship and now you have time to pamper yourself. Treat yourself to a nice suit, dress, or new pair of shoes; catch up on your golf game, take dance lessons. Now is the time to work on you and your self image!

G Give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time. You may not be able to be quite as productive on the job or care for others in exactly the way youre accustomed to for a little while. No one is superman or superwoman; take time to heal, regroup and re-energize.

H How are YOU feeling? Even if it is difficult for you to talk about your feelings with other people, it is very important to find a way to do so when you are grieving. Knowing that others are aware of your feelings will make you feel less alone with your pain and will help you heal.

I Ignore or Identify. Its normal to have lots of ups and downs, and feel many conflicting emotions, including anger, resentment, sadness, relief, fear, and confusion. Its important to identify and acknowledge these feelings. While these emotions will often be painful, trying to suppress or ignore them will only prolong the grieving process.

J Journaling can also be a helpful outlet for your feelings. One of the most difficult aspects of journaling is not the journaling itself, but finding time to write. Its important to block off about twenty minutes each day to write. Many people prefer to write in the morning as a way to start their day, or before bed, as a way to reflect upon and process the days events. However, if your lunch break or some other time is the only window you have, take the time whenever you can get it!

K Knowledge. Knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice.

L List. Come up with a list of things that you can do for a quick mood boost. Include any strategies, activities, or skills that have helped in the past. The more tools for coping with your break up, the better. Try and implement a few of these ideas each day, even if youre feeling good.

M Moving on, is the end goal. Expressing your feelings will liberate you in a way, but it is important not to dwell on the negative feelings or to over-analyze the situation. Getting stuck in hurtful feelings like blame, anger and resentment will rob you of valuable energy and prevent you from healing and moving forward.

N Nurture yourself. Help yourself heal by scheduling daily time for activities you find calming and soothing. Go for a walk in nature, listen to music, enjoy a hot bath, get a massage, read a favorite book, take a yoga class, or savor a warm cup of tea.

O Objectivity. Emphasizing or expressing things as perceived without distortion of personal feelings or interpretation. Learn to be objective, unbiased, open minded.

P Perspective, Center yourself and find perspective, allow YOU to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Try to remember that there are many other people with problems far worse than yours. If you feel up to it, help them with your experiences. It is therapeutic and cathartic to talk about your past experiences.

Q Qualification. The act of modifying or changing the strength of some idea. Modify your life, build strength, change is inevitable. Change is the only thing in life that is consistent.

R Remind yourself that you still have a future. When you commit to another person, you create many hopes and dreams. Its hard to let these dreams go. As you grieve the loss of the future you once envisioned, be encouraged by the fact that new hopes and dreams will eventually replace your old ones.

S Surround yourself with as many family and friends as possible. If your relationship with your friends and family suffered because of the huge amount of time you spent with your significant other, now is the time to patch up old relationships.

T Take a time out. Try not to make any major decisions in the first few months after a separation or divorce, like starting a new job or moving to a new city . If you can, wait until youre feeling less emotional so that you can make better decisions.

U Using alcohol, drugs, or food to cope is not healthy. When youre in the middle of a breakup, you may be tempted to do anything to relieve your feelings of pain and loneliness, but using alcohol, drugs, or food as an escape is unhealthy and destructive in the long run. Its essential to find healthier ways of coping with painful feelings.

V Victim. You are not a victim. You are a survivor. If you repeat this long enough you can survive the challenges that face you.

W Work on a routine and stick to it. A divorce or relationship breakup can disrupt almost every area of your life, amplifying feelings of stress, uncertainty, and chaos. Getting back to a regular routine can provide a comforting sense of structure and normalcy.

X Xanadu instead of Xanax. When you are feeling anxious or depressed, instead of taking a Xanax, try meditation, and think of Xanadu, an exotic, luxurious place. The word comes from the poem "Kubla Khan" by Samuel T. Coleridge.

Y You must forget as quickly as you possibly can! You must immediately see yourself as someone who's self-supporting and the only person on the face of this earth with the final say about how happy you can be. Difficult, yes! But the sooner you realize this and take charge of your own life, the sooner "what once was" will be forgotten and You will find happiness again.

Z Zenith. Zenith means the highest point or peak. Some people dream of reaching the zenith of a mountain like Mount Everest . As the last letter of the alphabet is Z. Envision where you want to be, your highest goal and strive for it.