Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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llmt 04/23/2010

Because (I know you should never start a sentence with that word) my stbx did not sign the mailed divorce petition, even after giving him another 20 day extension, I had him served via sheriff on Wednesday. My question is does anyone know what happens if he doesn't sign them or sees a lawyer regarding them? Does the case go on without him..does he go to jail? Does he HAVE to respond in some way? I just don't know and my lawyer is such a bitch I don't even want to call her for fear of her thinking it's a dumb question and yelling at me again. Thanks..wondering if anyone had a similar situation.

deleted_user 04/23/2010

It is imperative that he file a response now you have proof he has been served divorce papers. If does not file a response he will be giving up his rights. The things listed in the petition/complaint will be awarded if he does not respond. After the time has passed (20 to 30 days depending on the state) you can ask the court to award a divorce based on default.

deleted_user 04/23/2010

Can't say what happens in your jurisdiction, but the general rule is that once your stbx is served, they have so many days to respond (e.g. 30 days)-- if once the time to respond (e.g. the 30 days) has passed, you would then have option of taking his default, he would not be a party to the action, and you could proceed without him to Judgment. Obviously, there are a lot more details to this kind of thing, and I only know about CA, but that's the general idea.

deleted_user 04/23/2010

P.S. get a new lawyer. You don't have to put up with a lawyer who is a bitch and who you don't feel comfortable asking questions of.

llmt 04/23/2010

Thank you all...I think he knows I am serious now...don't know what he was figuring when they came in the mail..I was going to back down. Ehh..screw him. He knows he's screwed and liked having his cake and eating it too. Hope he chokes on it. And for the record, the lawyer is good I don't have time to look for another and she is like that to her clients as well as to the respondents. I knew that (sort of) going in.

deleted_user 04/23/2010

OK. Just sayin' there's lots of good lawyers who are not bitches:-)

llmt 04/23/2010

Anne I hear ya...I always seem to pick the "wrong" or do the "wrong" thing..I pick the wrong line in the grocery store, pick the wrong lawyer, pick the wrong husband...need I say more...I do have to laugh. The black cloud that hangs over my head is about to erupt today.

deleted_user 04/23/2010

Yes. Once served by the Sheriff, your STBX is "on the clock", as it were, to respond.

lycesq 04/23/2010

I have to agree with Anne. I only let my bitch out at trial or when the other side is being an asshole. Whoops - your sbtx qualifies!

Lynne

deleted_user 04/23/2010

LOL @ Lynne....."let my bitch out".....I like that.....

mavsgirl 04/23/2010

Hi llmt,

I know in TX at least once they're served (and here the letter counts as being served if there's proof they received it). They have 20 days to respond, and if they don't like others here have said it goes to default, which means they give up any rights in the process. Not sure where you're at or I'd try an online search for you.

deleted_user 04/23/2010

Hey llmt, I think it sounds pretty standard to have 30 days to respond, but you can probably check on-line for the rule in your state.

Don't worry about your lawyer being a bitch, sounds like you have an aggressive one, that will be good for you. Go get him llmt!

deleted_user 04/23/2010

It's 90 days in PA, but it varies state to state and i'm not sure about your state. Also, here it is 90 days to 'answer' your plea (i.e. raise new issues)....he could choose to do nothing and in 90 days you could request a 'consent to divorce'.....he doesn't really HAVE to consent either....in my state it is 2 YEARS from the date of separation before the state court can proceed with the divorce, anyway...(despite not having his consent). You need to ask that bitchy lawyer about your state law, and hope she is in a good mood. ;)

deleted_user 04/23/2010

my lawyer was one of those too (b-word, hehe) but it paid off because she did her job very well.

Hugs to you and hopefully he gets a clue and responds this time. Why he would have ignored the first two is beyond me but then again, trying to figure out a cheating spouse's behavior is like trying to figure out quantum physics.

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