This is a personal decision. I say actions speak louder than words. What is he doing that tells you he has changed? What is he suggesting if anything? Has he been working on his "issues" since he left? Is there proof. If not it's all lip service and most likely history will repeat itself.

Protect yourself. You deserve to be respected not taken for a ride.

I have no advice I'm in the same postion I left my husband of 18 yrs and started to see some one eles and I care for the new boyfriend but don't think I can give him what he is looking for and my husband is wanting to fix our marriage and I don't know wether I'm coming or going I wish I had all the answers and could say follow your heart. I can't mine don't know. I wish you all the luck.

Trust your gut. If you have one inkling of doubt. Chances are it's not worth it.
Move on with your life.
good luck!

My Gut tells me not to foregt what he did to you, when you took him back the first time. He made a fool of me, he was dating someone a week before I flew out to see him.. not to mention having to hear from other people all the nasty things that he has done behind my back. How can someone be so hurtful and now feel that they are sorry. Life can be so mean someimes..I cant forget what he to me, the hurt the crying that I went through.

Somethings can"t be fixed

I let my stbx come home (after being gone for 8 monhts) Because I KNEW I loved him, and what I was willing to do to make our marriage work. He was home for 4 months with no effort into the marriage and our problems.

then we seperated again. This time is soooo much harder having recommited to him, knowing how I feel, not sure how he feels.

I love my stbx and want him back, not sure if I'D be able to gamble it though.

Move on!

Actions speak better than words. If you really love him, have him to prove to you he has changed. Give each other time to get to know one another again and that way you may be able to see whether he is sincere or whether he was speaking out of temporary loneliness.
I wish you much luck

You can love anyone all you want. Ask yourself some questions.....

How do you feel when he is not there? Do you feel freer, relieved? Do you feel a burden lifted off of your shoulders?

What are you afraid of? Are you afraid you will be alone for the rest of your life? (at your age that will never happen, but just for arguments sake)

If you could date other people right this minute, would you??

Sometimes there is just too much water under the bridge. You can forgive things but you will never forget the things he has done to you. I personally think you need to move on. I know that if I were to take mine back which... I did many times before I filed for divorce it wouldn't be long until things went right back to the way they were. Mine never cheated...his girlfriend happened after he left. Sleeping with someone else is definately a deal breaker. Life is short we all need and deserve a little more happiness.

In my 45 years I have learned one thing for sure - (sorry to all those song writers out there) Love is not enough.

Actions speak more than words. My ex says he changed, and i believe he did and I accept him as a friend because of that. Now, I cannot change the past, and would take a lot more "good doings" to unmake all the "wrong doings"...life
Hug
S

It's a personal call. It would take a lot of work (therapy) in my mind and all the cards would have to be on the table. No bluffing and no playing games. However, I see a pattern in your description and he is likely to put you in the same situation again. I hope you find your way.

What has changed in both of your lives that would make your situation changed. If nothing has changed, then you are only going back to the same thing.

I agree, Love is NOT enough.

If you were to make a list (objectively or ideally....no one in mind) of qualities that you want in a partner/spouse/
boyfriend, girlfriend. Look at that list, does the former spouse hold those qualities/values/morals? Why would you want to be in a life situation forever, with someone who did not of the qualities that you can respect. I'll be no one says, I want someone who'll cheat on me, I want someone I can't trust or who lies to me. Think of this little exercise and then YOU decide. Familiarity is not love. Good luck

It sounds like you still have some healing to do from his first indiscretions. I am not against second chances, but I would recommend making sure you are whole first before going there again. And he will need to do some work as well to show you that he has changed. Good luck.