I think that, when a person gets into this situation (and it can happen to anyone), that this is a good time to speak with a trusted friend...to help you sort out fact and feelings both.

Don't "go it alone".

Thank you TP, you are most likely right, but sometimes you have to go it alone when that is all you have. I guess reflection is necessary.

I find my gut versus head is a 50/50 split. Some times our 'gut' steers us away from dangers that aren't really there, based on some past history... and sometimes our mind over-thinks things in the very same way.
I think the world is so hopelessly complicated, that I can't really answer general questions.
I know that there were many red flags that I chose to ignore in the beginning stages of the relationship... that perhaps my 'gut' knew but my 'mind' excused away.
Is that what you are talking about?

I'm probably like most people in that I know what it's like to ignore my gut because I was listening to my head, or worse, my heart. All I can say is I learned the truth after awhile, and then just coped with feeling made a fool of...and tried to figure out how to make amends to myself (this is especially in terms of how my exS helped steer me away from my instincts and I joyfully let him).


So now, I feel a little more sensitive to my gut feelings, and I make judgments in tandem with my head and heart, and then I watch and see if my judgments are confirmed or not. if I see they are, then I'm happy, because everytime I'm right, I gain more trust in myself. When I'm wrong then I apologize and if the mistake can't be corrected any longer, then I don't beat myself up about it, we all make mistakes, including me.

I no longer rely on other people to help confirm or unmoor my judgments. I find many people themselves, make mistakes, and I don't want my wagon hitched onto anyone who is fallible anymore. I guess in that way, I want my choices to be for the most part independent. One of the worst feelings I ever had was hurting someone through a judgment I made too much influenced by someone else.

Our gut and our heads that are tied to our heart can be a tricky thing sometimes. I agree with what Dave said. All combined it makes it hard to trust it. From flags, the past and sometimes just the present. i wish i had better advice on this.

No clue. I've had people lie to me and I've fallen for it before. Nothing much hurt worse in my life. At the time, I turned to someone who was impartial in my life, but they knew little of the situation personally, and were just going based on appearances.....and well appearances can be deceiving.

I used to think that given time, real character would show and the friendship would be mended, but the reality was that time moved on.....and relationships tend to move apart when they aren't moving closer.

In the future, I will just make the best judgements I can, wish people well, and not wait for anyone to EVER come back to me.

Your question was non-specific, and I have no clue if that helps or not, but I hope it did.

I listen to my gut, or my intuition. It's never steered me wrong.

If I get into my head, then it can turn into a circus, and I'm lost.

Limit, sometimes if you write everything down and you see it in front of your face, you can make more sense of it all. I know it's hard to put the info in writing, but I find it helps me.

Or you can just call and we can discuss.. :-)

My gut instinct is always right. This has always been the case.

My gut tells me what my head already knows but refuses to believe right away. I don't always follow my gut, but it is always right.

My gut, my heart and my head usually always tell me the same thing...so I am screwed all the way around!!!

God, I am so effin depressed right now. I see proof in front of me, yet again, and here I am questioning what is said to me vs. what I actually believe. My God, I am 42 years old (almost) acting like a child and questioning love, once again. But I am so afraid to be wrong.

I think once we get hurt one good time llmt that we often question things... i think its quite normal to be scared, timid and either want it to be true or not to be true.

Yes. There's always that possibility. No one is ever going to make it through this life without making a mistake. All we can do is try to keep from making the SAME mistake over and over again.

I've learned the hard way that if I don't listen to my gut, or esp, that I end up getting badly hurt on some level. If the feelings are really strong I am quick to listen.

If it's just a hunch I take the time to step back and wait to see what heppens. Nearly every time my gut is right.