Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Earlier this month, I posted about how my now official ex girlfriend of 7 years went to Madrid to study abroad. We weren't officially together and things weren't looking so well. Yesterday, she came back from this trip and we sat down to talk about what was going to happen with us. Turns out that she officially made up her mind that she no longer wanted to be with me. She said she still in love with me but she knows that we won't work out. That we are both to young for ius to be going through this. She is 21 and I'm 23. We talked about her trip and she told me she was out most nights drinking and partying. I don't really care for all of that. I wanted her to have fun and experience everything she could. She made a lot of amazing friends while being over there and they became her support system. While she was away,, I had this huge amount of hope that things would work out. I was willing to be my own person and I was willing to show her that I wanted to grow with her.. She said that for a very long time she wanted that too and that it wasn't fair that forwards the last year of our relationship, when she decided to let go, I started trying more. She said that she couldn't keep stringing me along when she knew she didn't want to be with me. She still wants to hang out and because we grew up together, she calls me her best friend. We are going to hang out today. I don't know how to feell. I am broken. Somewhere In the back of my mind I knew this would happen. And it hurts even more to know that I fucked everything up and I don't know how to heal. I'm crying right now and everything feels so different and out of place. There is so much more to this but I'll end it here. I love her so much and this is killing me.
The breakup is not your fault - I noticed you mentioned that. Let go of that thought, that will be the beginning of "getting better" for you.
Your GF is right, ya'll are both too you and have a lot to live. She seems to have realized that and wants freedom and all you can do is get out of her way. Sorry, I know it hurts, but part of loving people is letting them go and wishing them the best. Be happy for her, her trips, new adventures, etc.
As far as hanging out with her? - do that only if you don't care to move and you want to keep hurting, if not, don't do it. Being friends can only come when you have had time to deal with your loss and moved on.
Take care.
It really hurts a lot, I'm sorry that you have to go through this too. Personally though, I deleted her from all social media and I won't talk to her until i'm ok again. It hurts much more to talk and be around her right now and if I were you I wouldn't put myself through that.
I don't know what to say to you to make you feel better because i'm not better either. But you know, sometimes in life we have to say goodbye and we have to let go. Your life has just started even if her chapter in it has closed. I know it's not what you want to hear but, she has realized that her life is distinct from yours, now you must do the same.
Sorry man.
Hugs
When I met her she was 16 and I was 17. I posted this though my phone and instead of putting 21 i meant 22. I hate my phone's keyboard lol
Thank you all so much for your responses. I feel like this breakup is for the best. I just can't seem to accept it. It's really hard to let go. I've been thinking about her constantly and it's really devastating because I know she has her support system and the only person I can really talk to is my best friend. I don't want to keep bothering him with my problem. Even though he says that he'll always be there to listen.
There are auditions for Boston School of Music this Saturday. I decided yesterday to give it a go. If I make it, I'm moving to Boston with my best friend. He said I don't need to worry about housing for a while but as soon as I get a job up there, I told him that I would gladly help with the rent. Also, this entire month is filled with things to do. Camping, I finally get to see one of my favorite bands live, and most importantly, pack if if I make it into school. Even if i don't, I'm still going because I feel like I need time away from Los Angeles in general. Everywhere I went yesterday, I was reminded of her. It breaks my heart to know that the person I grew up with will never be there like I want her too. I wanted to grow with and be with her. I guess in a way, I'm being childish in that sense but regardless, it's what I wanted. I just wish this pain would go away.
Again, if you made it this far, thank you for your responses. I'm taking it one day at a time.
You sound like a sensible young guy - and a hurting one. Your girl wasn't trying to be cruel, but she realises that she doesn't want the same kind of relationship that you do. You have to accept that. And as the others have already said, it will be far better for you both if you don't try to be 'just friends' until the hurt has healed.
The move, the music, the new life - go for it! And I hope that you will have a successful audition. A broken heart is like a broken any other part of the body - it hurts, and can hurt bad, but it WILL heal. I think most of us have gone through the same kinds of things, and we did survive. You will too. And you'll come out stronger on the other side of your pain and loss. Stay strong and look forward to a good future. Blessings and love to you.
Your comment made made plenty of sense. Once I move to Boston and start a new life up there, It'll be easier for me to move on. I have a few things to look forward to and now that I have a set plan, I'm sticking to it no matter matter how much i am hurting inside.
I had a young love..6 and a half years..from the time I was 15. I loved him like no other. But I also got over it..it happens. I'll always love him but I don't ever think we should have wound up together.
You have wonderful times in store for you!