Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Jayzandra 01/13/2012

I am thoroughly confused. I joind the Divorce and Break Up "support group" because my fiance left me 4 months ago and it nearly killed me.

So I told my story of how we met while he was still married to his ex but we didn't even start TALKING until after he was divorced to provide some insight into our relationship before I started crying about my broken heart due to him getting cold feet and leaving.

I Recieved two replies, both stating that I was in the wrong for dating a married man. Now I feel unwelcome and reluctant to add any more posts for fear of unfair persecution.

Yet another member is getting tons of support after admitting that she is having an affair! And I'm not judging her, I'm really not, I just don't get why you're so quick to judge ME when there wasn't any infadelity involved. I just don't get it. What is the mentality behind this?

I am a new resident to Arizona and have only one friend here and my siblings don't care about anyone but themselves. So where am I to turn to for support while I am grieving??

I feel this is impossible...

sandysan5743 01/13/2012

Jayzandra - there are lots of people here that will support you. It's all a matter of timing who gets what response from others. Don't be too quick to drop out of the group, ok?

deleted_user 01/13/2012

I have to read your threads, and not sure what happened there, but what I *can* tell you from what I'm reading here is that if I respond to a post by someone who has been involved with a married person and they get hurt, I always have to just say in there that married people are off limits for me personally because the issue usually has something to do with the fact that they ARE married. Its not a judgement just a warning and an eye opener. I was not cheated on (though who the heck knows) so its not like I have an axe to grind. It just creaates issues and then people why they get hurt.

In any case, I'm with Sandy. Don't leave because of this. You're also kins of new, and people need to get to know you.

deleted_user 01/13/2012

There are many people who will support you here. I for one! I just saw your post. I had not seen your previous posts. This is a great place to get things out. Please don't feel unwelcomed or judged. I, for one, judge no one's decisions about their life choices. I think most of us here are just trying our best to get through our situations.
Hang in there and don't give up. Sending hugs of comfort to you.

Jayzandra 01/13/2012

I get that. I would never in a million years date any guy who is in any id of relationship. If he can do it to her it would be completely idiotic to think he wouldn't do it to me.

But he WASN'T married when we first started "talking". He was divorced. We were just friends. We had a group of frinds together. (which makes it even harder because they we still share the same friends) Perhaps he had a crush on me while still married, IDK, but why does that make me a bad guy? I didn't persue a married man. And he didn't cheat. Like I said before, the only thing that makes sense to me is I was his rebound, though he swears I wasn't. I could accept that. It gives me a REASON for the failure. But all he can tell me is he doesn't know why. He still loves me. And I'm still his favorite person in this world.

And all I want is to know WHY? What went wrong? Give me something that I can come to terms with and have closure. All I get is IDK and I'm sorry.

Now I'm rambling. I'm sorry. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind.

deleted_user 01/13/2012

I felt like I was losing my mind too. Take a step back, a deep breath and let him go. We can't read their minds and it seems to me he is unwilling or unable to communicate his issues to you now. You are thinking its *you* that caused this, so you're stuck. Its *HIM* and what's going on in his life, and you may not know the whole story.

Jayzandra 01/13/2012

You are so right NewAgain. I don't know the whole story and he is unwilling to fill me in. Butt he continues to string me along.
I do plan on ending it completely when he gets back into town tomorrow. I hope and can bring myself to do it.

Thank you guys for letting me vent.

Dave17 01/13/2012

I'm sorry about that. It happens here. sometimes it is the luck of the draw. Threads that make it to the top stay at the top, and often the ones that controversial get the most attention.

Getting over a loss is difficult. I hope that we can help.

deleted_user 01/14/2012

I'm sorry you were judged. I tend not to judge anyone as all of us could end up in a situation of temptation. You waited until he was divorced to even pursue him....so I see nothing wrong with that.

You were probably judged by those who have been victimized by cheating spouses, so don't be too hard on them, they are in the healing process as well.

Don't leave, hang in there, and work it out with the rest of us. (smile)

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