Don't be angry. Nothing wrong with trying to save a relationship. You tried. Relationships take work for both involved. They are not all sunny days, and problems do arise. It's those down times that couples really need to work together and dealing with those down days is what makes those relationships stronger. Couples just have to be willing to but in the work.

Sounds like you were willing to put in the work, as was I. Unfortunately the other person was not. That is something we can not control and then comes a time for us to decide....do we carry on or split. Very tough decision for sure.

What ever you decide to do, make sure you get all the help and support you can. Therapy is great, meditation too, helps relax the brain. Join a divorce group of some kind, nice to talk with folks in the same situation. And finally...lawyer up.
Stay strong
-HUGS-

There's no relationship when you are the only one working on it.

Thank you guys

7 years of a bad pattern is a very long time.

Break the pattern, end the cycle for good.

You know how to do it, you've done it for so long, only this time let it be permanent. He uses you when he's unemployed and needs support, doesn't sound like he supports you one bit. Why should you accept being used?

Jojored
You are so right and I know I can do it and it's a terrible felling to feel that you are being used.
I don't think that there is a possibility that he will change or suddenly start to care about me.

If you change the "I don't think that there is a possibility...." into a "I know there is absolutely no possibility...." I believe you can find your way sooner. It seems that you are afraid to commit to a decision. While you're swaying in the wind on this issue, you continue to be hurt and your self respect continues to plummet. There is no perfect decision, but you're at a crossroads and you have to make a choice. No more in-the-middle, I'll wait and see what happens next time. You're too smart for that.

For me, my period of indecision, when I knew that the marriage was over, was about 7 or 8 years. There were about 10 years before that where I felt that I was alone in the marriage because he's never been able to communicate, but I chalked it up to thinking that every marriage has it's issues. He kept saying what a catch he was. Things never changed, he never could see any issues, he never cared enough to make any efforts.

My only regret after divorcing him is all those years that I stuck it out, I waited far too long. I wish I had been braver sooner.

You are right I am afraid to commit to a decision although I know that I can do it. I have always been afraid of change and always had low self-esteem so I take breakups and separations extremely hard. I feel so lost because I have to change the way I operate with my son and his living arrangement but I am suffering everyday and crying even more it's funny that you said that about time passing because my mom told me don't waste too much time on him before you finally decide to leave and you look up and he still young and you're old there's a 10-year difference between he and I which is part of the problem we are on different levels. I am a mess but praying that the answer is become clear.