Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I haven't been on here in 6 months, so I wanted to give an update. Some of you might remember me. I'm in my twenties, got broken up with by my first love who I was living with, and basically had to start my life over from scratch with no self esteem. Essentially, he blamed me for everything and was very, very cruel about it. The way he treated me after we broke up messed me up mentally for a while. I was severely, SEVERELY, depressed and was forced to take Wellbutrin, with helped me tremendously. With him, somehow something snapped 2 months later. He cried to me and pulled me back in. I believed that we would work through it but like most people's stories, it didn't work out that way. He kind of dragged me on for 5 months while I wondered if he would ever fall in love with me again.
I recently put an end to whatever it is that we were. I told him everything I was afraid to say before and asked why he was so mean to me when we broke up. He couldn't even answer that. He just said he took his frustrations with himself out on me. He admitted I didn't do anything wrong in the relationship, that he was a bad boyfriend to me. I used to be terrified to rock the boat in fear of losing him, but I guess I reached a point where I realized I'd be okay without him. It still stings a bit to think of him loving someone else, but as someone recently told me: "What if instead of focusing on him treating someone else better, you focus on finding someone that will treat you better than he did?"
Anyway, here I am, living in my own apartment, with my own hobbies, living my own life. It's great to have found myself again after losing myself in that relationship. If you asked me a year ago, I would have said I'd never make it without him. If I came out okay on the other side and got over the "love of my life" (so I thought...), I have faith that everyone on this board will be okay again. It's a long, rough journey, but you will survive.
The hardest thing for me now is dealing with the depression of being truly alone. I'm just trying to hold onto faith that things happen for a reason.
I recently put an end to whatever it is that we were. I told him everything I was afraid to say before and asked why he was so mean to me when we broke up. He couldn't even answer that. He just said he took his frustrations with himself out on me. He admitted I didn't do anything wrong in the relationship, that he was a bad boyfriend to me. I used to be terrified to rock the boat in fear of losing him, but I guess I reached a point where I realized I'd be okay without him. It still stings a bit to think of him loving someone else, but as someone recently told me: "What if instead of focusing on him treating someone else better, you focus on finding someone that will treat you better than he did?"
Anyway, here I am, living in my own apartment, with my own hobbies, living my own life. It's great to have found myself again after losing myself in that relationship. If you asked me a year ago, I would have said I'd never make it without him. If I came out okay on the other side and got over the "love of my life" (so I thought...), I have faith that everyone on this board will be okay again. It's a long, rough journey, but you will survive.
The hardest thing for me now is dealing with the depression of being truly alone. I'm just trying to hold onto faith that things happen for a reason.
Loneliness is a beast and some day sit can be overwhelming but keep the faith that we will find true happiness.
Anyway, when you mentioned you used to be stuck on thinking about how your ex is out there treating some other girl better than you...that's exactly where I'm stuck right now. He already met someone and it kills me that after all I've been through and did for him, and he promised to be there for me, that he is now making some other girl happy and just acting as if I never existed.
I know I need to move on, but it stings so bad, especially him leaving me when I needed him most.