I know....It is rediculous
Just remind people you are suffering with Grief
It is a long process...and non linear

The stages are interchangeable....but must be respected

Surround yourself with people who understand Grief and its' lengthy process

Hugs. i'm very sorry to hear about your loss. we all understand, and are here, to help eachother. it truly is, like grieving a loss, in our lives. it's so hard too, when we didn't want things to change. i understand, what you are experiencing.
my ex-girlfriend (we were together as a couple, for over 3 years, and close for over 5) broke up with me through text, in late march, without explanation, and gave me no reason why. it's like, she just abandoned me. things were good between her and i. it's left an emptiness in my days, and my life, i definitely know, how hard it is to cope. i find lots of soothing support here on ds, and also talking with my family. keeping busy, and reflecting are good, i have days when i let the tears flow. it's ok. You will feel lots of emotions for some time, but remember, it's natural to experience these emotions, and also at times, the feelings of numbess can be a part of our feelings. be sure to be good to yourself, and take all the time you need to grieve. remember, you aren't alone, we are here, to help eachother through the rough times.
Sending my best wishes.

I'm certainly no expert, but it seems to me that losing someone due to a breakup/divorce can easily be more painful than losing one to death.

People breakup as a matter of choice, whereas death is usually involuntary. So, in the case of a breakup, there are typically feelings of betrayal, abandonment and inadequacy that don't come into play with death.

Furthermore, I believe the finality of death hastens the healing process, plus there are no jealousy concerns.

The pain you feel is real. No need to apologize for it.

Gapwedge is absolutely right. The feelings of betrayal, abandonment and inadequacy, wreak havoc on your mind.

Stay strong

You guys are so right. I lost my mother right after my husband left me. Grieving my mothers death seemed easier to handle, because I knew she was sick, and there is some finality to death. When someone leaves you, and are blindsided, it's devestating to say the least. Having to see him, talk with him about the kids, it is like pouring salt in the wound every time.................

brittany8 - i'm so sorry to hear about both losses!! You poor thing...

I can relate with the salt in the wound comment... It makes it worse that he is just so happy now :(

Yeah, I agree.

Take what time you need. Grieve the loss, because it is a loss.

While both losses are devastating I feel divorce is almost harder to recover from because our partners willingly left us, rejected and abandoned us in some cases. Knowing that I could run into my ex at any time, knowing I could physically drive to his place and touch him, hug him is still sad for me. It has been a year for me but I still am grieving the loss of my marriage and my happily ever after. Take all of the time you need to heal, there is no time limit on that. We all grieve in our own way for as long as it takes, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. This is your time, take care of you, life will find you again but for now you need to go through the pain however long it takes. As you mentioned there are starting to be better days than bad, it's only going to get better so keep going.

I am currently dating a widower and we have talked about our spouses, our marriages and I think we are able to help each other through the sad times, he has even seen a different side of divorce and has acknowledged that divorce can be harder to recover from.

Hugs!!