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confused

dmc1966
dmc1966
So I thought it would be easier when the kids came home from school for the holidays. Husband moved out at the beginning of the month and I have been doing okay. But now that the kids are home I feel weird. I keep asking if they have talked to him. I sent him a text with our plans for the holidays asking if he wanted to go to movie with us - no reply. He always accused me of hogging the kids so I'm feeling guilty. He seems to be texting my son but not so much my daughters. The therapist said its not my responsibility to make sure he has a relationship with the kids but I feel like I should for there sake,
charliegirl29
charliegirl29
How old are the kids?
charliegirl29
charliegirl29
I know its extremely difficult detaching from the family unit. I hope therapy gives you some resolve....ill be going to counseling soon.
gem111
gem111
I agree with the therapist. It is his responsibility to have a relationship with the kids. No matter how hard you try, in the long run, the kids will finally get the truth. I wouldn't keep asking if they have talked to him, they will when they want too.
I think right now at Christmas, you have emailed him, now you can just concentrate on you and your kids.
I would just try and be the best Mom you can be as they need their Mom to show them what a great Christmas you can give them with just you and them.
That is just what I would do and everyone is different.
Your ex is going to make his lonely bed and have to lay in it when he is much older.
dmc1966
dmc1966
My son is almost 19. I have twin girls that are 21 - one goes to school about 6 hours away and the other one goes locally so she has been home with me.
Aries1958
Aries1958
I agree with your therapist.
Ducktapetherapy
Ducktapetherapy
I am sorry that you are going through this. Try to be patient and give yourself time. You are all facing major transitions, with out easy answers. Counseling is critical during this time. HUGS!!

~Ducktapetherapy77
neverceases
neverceases
Your therapist is right. Actually, since your kids are technically all adults, the relationship is completely up to them and your ex. It's no longer your job to manage anything that goes on between them.

Also a little advice. Don't ask your kids about their day, if they've talked to them or what he's up to. That puts them in the middle.

The best thing for you to do is go "no contact" with your ex. It will help you to heal faster. If you ask him to still do things with all of you and he turns you down or ignores you, it just opens you up for more hurt. Enjoy your time with your kids and if he wants to see them and they want to see him, let them all make those arrangements.

I know this is hard; the holidays make it harder. Just try to hang in there.

http://lemaym1.wordpress.com/
neverceases
neverceases
That should read "don't ask your kids about their dad". I wish they'd let us edit!

http://lemaym1.wordpress.com/