Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
July 9th. He told me he wanted to move back to Alaska. Had nothing to do with another woman (as in "like last time"). I didn't fight this time. I let him go. I didn't get nasty - I just let him go. I watched him spend 3 weeks packing up our house and moving his stuff into storage.
Finally on August 3rd I told him he had to go. It was around 10:00 at night and he had dragged it on 3 days beyond his projected leave by date. I didn't hear from him during the 5 days it took him to drive to Alaska.
4 days after arriving I started getting texts, messages and calls. It went from "I may have made a huge mistake" to "I think I made a huge mistake" to "I made a huge mistake". Over the next 3 weeks he berated himself for his treatment of me, begged to come home, promised to go to counseling, lamented what a horrid selfish person he'd been and stressed that he wanted to do right by me and be a better man. He said he wanted his wife, his best friend and his lover back - that he needed me in his life and wanted to grow old with me. He was going to deactivate Facebook (a HUGE issue with me). He was going to be 100% honest with me from now on, and even went so far as to admit to going on a date with "someone he just met up there". He stopped the divorce paperwork.
Finally I told him to come home. It took another couple weeks for him to pack and make the drive home. I was so hopeful. However as soon as he arrived home, all of these deep, meaningful conversations we'd been having during his absence stopped. He slipped back in to his old ways of being glued to his laptop.
1 week after he returned home, I noticed he had left his laptop opened signed in to Facebook. With a sinking feeling I opened his messenger. Right there, sent the night before he returned home, was a message to the girl he "just met" (i.e. met on Facebook months ago and had secretly been laying the groundwork for this) stating he had made a huge mistake, he loved her and he hoped that he could fix this and that it hopefully wouldn't be too late for them. When confronted he stated he had fallen in love with her and needed to be with her.
WHAT THE HELL???? Why bother to come home to me? I wasn't fighting him, I wasn't threatening to take his money in the divorce, I wasn't being nasty. I didn't beg him to come back, I didn't try to make him feel guilty. WHY put me through this again? So now, he's going back...again. The divorce paperwork is refiled and as soon as everything is signed he is on his way once again. Leaving me right back where I started in July. And then last night I wake up at 5:00am to find him trying to crawl into bed with me.
At this point I just want off the ride and need him gone, but I am so confused as to what the heck is going on with this guy. How could someone be that cruel? What does he want???
Finally on August 3rd I told him he had to go. It was around 10:00 at night and he had dragged it on 3 days beyond his projected leave by date. I didn't hear from him during the 5 days it took him to drive to Alaska.
4 days after arriving I started getting texts, messages and calls. It went from "I may have made a huge mistake" to "I think I made a huge mistake" to "I made a huge mistake". Over the next 3 weeks he berated himself for his treatment of me, begged to come home, promised to go to counseling, lamented what a horrid selfish person he'd been and stressed that he wanted to do right by me and be a better man. He said he wanted his wife, his best friend and his lover back - that he needed me in his life and wanted to grow old with me. He was going to deactivate Facebook (a HUGE issue with me). He was going to be 100% honest with me from now on, and even went so far as to admit to going on a date with "someone he just met up there". He stopped the divorce paperwork.
Finally I told him to come home. It took another couple weeks for him to pack and make the drive home. I was so hopeful. However as soon as he arrived home, all of these deep, meaningful conversations we'd been having during his absence stopped. He slipped back in to his old ways of being glued to his laptop.
1 week after he returned home, I noticed he had left his laptop opened signed in to Facebook. With a sinking feeling I opened his messenger. Right there, sent the night before he returned home, was a message to the girl he "just met" (i.e. met on Facebook months ago and had secretly been laying the groundwork for this) stating he had made a huge mistake, he loved her and he hoped that he could fix this and that it hopefully wouldn't be too late for them. When confronted he stated he had fallen in love with her and needed to be with her.
WHAT THE HELL???? Why bother to come home to me? I wasn't fighting him, I wasn't threatening to take his money in the divorce, I wasn't being nasty. I didn't beg him to come back, I didn't try to make him feel guilty. WHY put me through this again? So now, he's going back...again. The divorce paperwork is refiled and as soon as everything is signed he is on his way once again. Leaving me right back where I started in July. And then last night I wake up at 5:00am to find him trying to crawl into bed with me.
At this point I just want off the ride and need him gone, but I am so confused as to what the heck is going on with this guy. How could someone be that cruel? What does he want???
This is torment! When I read up on narcissists it all fell into place. Not that I can figure out what makes them tick. Just more of a reality check and how disordered their thinking is.
Sorry and your life will be so much better!!
Be glad he is gone and hope he stays gone. It's taken me almost 7 years post divorce to get rid of the man I was married to for 33 years. I hope he's not as vindictive as my ex.
Peace