Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Oh my. Told my ex who was at the house doing laundry (not spending time with our son) the appraisers were coming tomorrow to appraise the house. He said he thought we would share the house - not what was discussed earlier - if I'm going to live here I want the house - I don't want any influences from him or his ex. He again twisted things - why am I doing this to him? I pointed out that it was he who messed everything up, for the second time, he did this to himself and he has no one to blame but himself and I'm not going to sacrifice anymore of my life for him and his crap. He then said that he thought that after a few weeks things would settled down and perhaps we would get back together. I told him that it was ridiculous that he would even ask that while he is still chatting with his ex, that this is just another example of how little he understands and what poor decision making skills he has. I told him he needs to get his head wrapped around this because it is happening and there is no going back.
So I'm pretty proud that I stood up to him and didn't cave and didn't take his crap. But now I feel sad that it has come to this and sick to my stomach about it all. It needs to be done, but it didn't have to be this way. Its hard even when its right. I just hope that when the separation and all the formalities are done that it will get better - it will right?
So I'm pretty proud that I stood up to him and didn't cave and didn't take his crap. But now I feel sad that it has come to this and sick to my stomach about it all. It needs to be done, but it didn't have to be this way. Its hard even when its right. I just hope that when the separation and all the formalities are done that it will get better - it will right?
So the giant check I wrote out of our joint account for a deposit on an apartment wasn't his first clue?
I guess it's a coping mechanism. He was really shocked I left him. My ex and I are amicable now and are working on our friendship.
It's so hard not being completely moved out of the house. It's a very odd/bad limbo to be in for both parties. We are just probably all business about it and that's how we cope.
"Its hard even when its right." I think I need to make that a country song! That's the truth! It is really hard to be true to ourselves and make these decisions no matter how right they are- because we still have to look real people we love or loved in their faces and be real and honest. I feel bad for my H, I feel sad that he's trying and it is too late now and I have nothing left to give him- but he caused that situation by refusing to listen to me or care about anyone else but himself. They get away with crap because we let them to begin with, because we care, because we're trying so hard- and they twist it all around and confuse us!
It will get better I'm sure when you don't have to face him all the time and as you really get a taste of your freedom and strength.
Imagine it like this: pretend you want to lose 50 lbs. When you first think about it, it seems impossible. The. only way to lose 50lbs is to change certain things in your life, hit the gym, eat less, etc. And it will take time. Not going to happen overnight. So you put it off, and you put it off... Three months later, you're sill THINKING about how to lose the 50lbs, only now you need to lose 60lbs! But if you had just made the changes, then you'd be well on your way to loosing the weight. So, finally, you commit. You eat less and exercise more. One week. Two weeks. Two months. It takes time! Yet, before you know it, you reach your goal and lose the weight.
Same thing here. It's damned hard to commit, and you question whether it's easier to just accept the status quo. When you finally take the plunge, it's intimidating. But gradually, things get better. And one year out, you will look back and be amazed at how far you've come!!
Things will get better, but you need to go no contact and have a positive attitude about the better future you WILL have. You are the only one that can help your healing, or not.
Practice self care and do something that you like to do often and treat yourself any chance you get. These will make you feel better. Even counting the ways we need to feel gratitude for everything we do have.
You definitely need to focus on yourself.
I wish you the best of luck.
((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))