Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Here is the story of what I am going through. This is a tough break for me.
7 years ago I met an awesome woman. She had great morals and she was awesome for me. We did everything together. A few years ago she decided to advance herself and change jobs (the trouble began).
Shortly after changing jobs she began to work in an environment where people had a lot of disposable income and they lived fast. She began to get more materalistic and she wanted nicer things that we really couldn't afford. At times I had to pay for other things with credit cards to make ends meet. This was the start.
Just after she changed jobs I had my first heart attack. I was 28 years old. She was great and she stood by me the first few days. We had been having arguements over small things before that and she wasn't the same person that she use to be. I felt as though the heart attack was a sign and she would start treating me better. The day that I was to get out of the hospital, after being in intensive care for 4 days, my Dad brought me home. My wife couldn't even make it home from work on time to make me dinner. I ended up cooking my own dinner.
Last November we had been working on our marriage and I have always wanted things to be better. She said that we are so different and she doesn't like doing the things that I like to do and vice versa. I broke my arm working on the farm. It was a bad break. Once again my wife was great for the first few days but once I got home she didn't help me out at all.
Last Thursday, after having some horrible stresses at work and some other issues, I had to go to the emergency room because I had Kidney Stones. She never bothered coming and she said that she had a migrane. The next day when she recovered she went out to eat with her friends instead of coming to check on me (she was away house sitting).
I have been trying to accomidate her for a while now and trying to do things together but she didn't want to do anything together. I could see that she was getting more and more distant. I felt that something was coming.
On Monday I had to go back to the doctor. I got put out of work for two weeks because of my blood pressure (I have been at dangerous levels for the last six weeks because of a lot of stress). The Doctor told me to change some things in my life or get better life insurance so my wife could get rich.
That evening I finally confronted my wife about things because she wouldn't kiss me goodnight. She said that she didn't feel that way about me anymore and she wanted to live separately. It was brutal. My whole world came crashing down and I was suddenly without my wife, my home, or anything else I care about. Everything that was important to me was gone!
I have had to move back in my parents place but they live 1.5 hours from where I work. I work a 12 hour midnight shift (bad for my health) and it is a stressful job so commuting is off. I have a friend who will let me crash at his place while we are working. I also have a large sailboat that I sometimes stay on and I will also be living there.
I have always been the one to say I am sorry first (she never says it). I have always tried to support her though I know that I fell short sometimes. I know that I wasn't the perfect husband but I wanted to be. Sometimes I have been wrong because I just got diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder and I am getting help for that. The one time that I was doing something to improve me which would have improved the relationship she leaves me. I have been tolerant of her when she had 12 shelter cats inside of my house and she was fostering them (I don't really like cats that much). I just passively resisted it and I even helped her once in a while. I usually sucked it up and did it when she demanded that I do things like feed her horse and take care of it because she was going to be late from work (I fed the thing for months on end but if you ask her I never did it right). She always complained that I always half assed everything and I never did it right.
Okay, I know that I am not perfect but I also can say with a clean conscious that I didn't end the relationship and I am not totally at fault. None the less, I am still in the ninth circle of hell. Giving up my house, my two dogs, and her family (which I loved very much and probably more than she did).
This whole thing has really thrown me for a loop. Strangely, I am almost ready to move on even though there hasn't been much time passing. I guess it is because I knew, deep down inside, that this was coming. The shock of it was bad but I knew that this would happen. I had contemplated it but I never would have been the one to do it because I always believed that things would work out and things would get better. I feel better when I talk about it and I don't internalize it.
I feel that I am a nice guy. It seems that I always finish last and I am walked over when I am in a long relationship with someone. I am also confused because I am going through a range of emotions. I want to move on but I hope that this will end. I know that I am better off without her but I still want her back.
7 years ago I met an awesome woman. She had great morals and she was awesome for me. We did everything together. A few years ago she decided to advance herself and change jobs (the trouble began).
Shortly after changing jobs she began to work in an environment where people had a lot of disposable income and they lived fast. She began to get more materalistic and she wanted nicer things that we really couldn't afford. At times I had to pay for other things with credit cards to make ends meet. This was the start.
Just after she changed jobs I had my first heart attack. I was 28 years old. She was great and she stood by me the first few days. We had been having arguements over small things before that and she wasn't the same person that she use to be. I felt as though the heart attack was a sign and she would start treating me better. The day that I was to get out of the hospital, after being in intensive care for 4 days, my Dad brought me home. My wife couldn't even make it home from work on time to make me dinner. I ended up cooking my own dinner.
Last November we had been working on our marriage and I have always wanted things to be better. She said that we are so different and she doesn't like doing the things that I like to do and vice versa. I broke my arm working on the farm. It was a bad break. Once again my wife was great for the first few days but once I got home she didn't help me out at all.
Last Thursday, after having some horrible stresses at work and some other issues, I had to go to the emergency room because I had Kidney Stones. She never bothered coming and she said that she had a migrane. The next day when she recovered she went out to eat with her friends instead of coming to check on me (she was away house sitting).
I have been trying to accomidate her for a while now and trying to do things together but she didn't want to do anything together. I could see that she was getting more and more distant. I felt that something was coming.
On Monday I had to go back to the doctor. I got put out of work for two weeks because of my blood pressure (I have been at dangerous levels for the last six weeks because of a lot of stress). The Doctor told me to change some things in my life or get better life insurance so my wife could get rich.
That evening I finally confronted my wife about things because she wouldn't kiss me goodnight. She said that she didn't feel that way about me anymore and she wanted to live separately. It was brutal. My whole world came crashing down and I was suddenly without my wife, my home, or anything else I care about. Everything that was important to me was gone!
I have had to move back in my parents place but they live 1.5 hours from where I work. I work a 12 hour midnight shift (bad for my health) and it is a stressful job so commuting is off. I have a friend who will let me crash at his place while we are working. I also have a large sailboat that I sometimes stay on and I will also be living there.
I have always been the one to say I am sorry first (she never says it). I have always tried to support her though I know that I fell short sometimes. I know that I wasn't the perfect husband but I wanted to be. Sometimes I have been wrong because I just got diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder and I am getting help for that. The one time that I was doing something to improve me which would have improved the relationship she leaves me. I have been tolerant of her when she had 12 shelter cats inside of my house and she was fostering them (I don't really like cats that much). I just passively resisted it and I even helped her once in a while. I usually sucked it up and did it when she demanded that I do things like feed her horse and take care of it because she was going to be late from work (I fed the thing for months on end but if you ask her I never did it right). She always complained that I always half assed everything and I never did it right.
Okay, I know that I am not perfect but I also can say with a clean conscious that I didn't end the relationship and I am not totally at fault. None the less, I am still in the ninth circle of hell. Giving up my house, my two dogs, and her family (which I loved very much and probably more than she did).
This whole thing has really thrown me for a loop. Strangely, I am almost ready to move on even though there hasn't been much time passing. I guess it is because I knew, deep down inside, that this was coming. The shock of it was bad but I knew that this would happen. I had contemplated it but I never would have been the one to do it because I always believed that things would work out and things would get better. I feel better when I talk about it and I don't internalize it.
I feel that I am a nice guy. It seems that I always finish last and I am walked over when I am in a long relationship with someone. I am also confused because I am going through a range of emotions. I want to move on but I hope that this will end. I know that I am better off without her but I still want her back.
I bought a cheap watch from the crazy man
floating down the canal
It doesn't use numbers or moving hands
It always just says NOW
You maybe thinking that I was had
But this watch is never wrong
And if I had trouble the warranty said
Breath in Breath Out..Move on
She says that none of this will work and she just feels trapped by the marriage. She wants to be friends but she doesn't want to be with me.
But, this is a great group and we will all help you get thru this.
Sorry to hear about your health issues, heart attack at 28, man that's a shame.