I have hoped and prayed to feel that way. I consider you blessed not unhealthy. Not that my opinion comes from an education or degree in psychology I just wish I could feel like you do all the time and I agree it would help me completely move on.

It depends. I don't think there's any one right way to feel or act, however, there is a process of grieving that should be expected. Just be sure you aren't avoiding your feelings. It happened to me. I was pretty disgusted by my ex, then about 9 months later it all came flooding back and it was like we'd just broken up. I had avoided dealing with my sadness and grief months prior, and it came back to bite me. As long as you feel you're being open and honest with yourself, I don't think you have anything to wory about. Sometimes when people are done, they are 100% DONE.

I can't stand to be around my ex. I like the No Contact rule, but can't do it because of kids. She texted me last week and ask if we could be friends, I said I don't know and left it at that.
A friend of mmine asked me what I would do if she asks me to come back. I replied "NO F'en WAY!!!"
I am in a better place now and at peace.

Thanks for your responses. I think for me the farther along I go, the more I am realizing how much of an SOB he was. Narcissists have a way of entrapping you without you knowing. The newfound peace I have is so great.

I have wanted to feel that way towards my husband but he is being so nice that it makes me more sad than anything. I like keelyc's point on the grieving process. There is an anger stage and you are probably on that stage right now. Don't be too consumed with your hate towards him though. That won't be too good either.

I am not sure what to make out of what you are saying but feeling anger towards someone sounds to me like we still care. If we didn't care one way or the other I think our feelings would be neutral. - we would be able to think about them and not feel any type of anger, love or emotions. That's how it was for me at least - I knew I no longer cared about my ex when his presence didnt' stir me one way or the other. No love, no anger.

Hate and love are very similar emotions - either way - work on getting over truly so that you aren't spending energy neither towards loving nor hating someone that's no longer part of your life. Feeling hostility towards an EX should be address with perhpas counseling. Your peace will be real when you are done (truly done).

Good luck.

I wish I could feel/show more anger toward my ex in order to move on. We get along fairly well & sometimes it bothers me that I can't get more angry. Sometimes being the "nice guy" sucks.

I'd say it's healthy to be angry in order to move forward.

I can't stand talking or being around my ex one bit. I do it when I have to for our child, and that is it. Part of me is embarrassed I ever married someone like her.

I don't like being around my ex only because I'm not 100% over her yet.. I think if I hated her it would make it a lot easier unfortunately.. What a horrible situation

Sounds totally normal to me as that is how I felt. The moment he told me he was leaving me for his mistress that was it. There was no begging or wishing things were different...just obtaining proof and getting everything in the divorce. To me he means no more or less to me than a stranger I pass on the street. We have no children so I have no connection to him. I doubt we will ever see or speak to each other again...and as I told someone recently....I don't have to worry about bumping into him in Heaven....lol

I dont think there is an abnormal reaction. Each person and each situation is different

There a thing called the Grief Wheel and basically you cycle through various emotional phases during a divorce. It is not unhealthy to feel this anger--it's normal. Where it would become unhealthy would be if you continued to feel angry for a long time or if you acted on that anger in a way that could cause you harm (for example: stalking, harrassing phone calls and texts, physical harm, etc.).

Sometimes the anger stage is needed to spur a person into action. I kept believing my ex's bullshit stories of "Let's be amicable." When he finally pissed me off and I hit the anger stage, wow, that became a very bad time for him. That's when I took the leash off my attorney and said, "Sic him!!!!"

It's good to journal about this. Also, if you are not seeing a counselor during divorce, it's a good idea to perhaps see one. This is the place you can talk about these feelings to make sure to keep it healthy.

Hugs!!!!