I read this a few times as I kept getting confused as to the meaning...

I guess what it says is relationships start with an idealization and that they can continue as long as the idealizatoin exists; even when reality checks in, we need to look at reality with rose colored glasses so the relationship can continue to work. (?)

My take is there has to be a balance between idealization and accurate information, and the idealization has to be of a general nature.

For instance, my XGF idealized and became totally fixated on specific traits and features. When accurate info she didn't like or feel comfortable with came to light, She was out the door or threatening to be out the door. You know, "One 'aw, shit' wipes out a thousand 'attaboys'.

She could never balance out the 'good' with the 'bad'. Whatever her immediate fixations was on dictated her worldview where I was concerned.

I don't think it applies only to relationships though because you really do the same thing individually. They way we veiw ourselves or others depends on where we put the most focus it seems to me.

Yes, it applies to more than just relationships. I think the point is balance. The difference between Black & White or Shades of Gray.

Nothing is as good as it might seem. Nothing is as bad as it might seem.

The dreamer might lend much too much weight to idealization. The cold logician might lend much too much weight to accurate information. Both are missing the bigger picture and doing a disservice to not only the other, but also themselves.

I guess idealization leads to things that dreams or hopes were or are made of. So we idealize to be or have, yet accurate information intertwines and we need to realize accurate information without going overboard and killing dreams and hopes.

(?)

That's what I'm thinking, ChiTown.