I don't know your specific situation, but people rarely wake up one morning and decide they no longer love their partner. It happens over time. I think chances are fair that he had checked out of the relationship long before he told you. It doesn't make things any easier for you, but in many ways he had done any grieving, perhaps even before you knew there was a problem.

Remember,this is not a race to see how fast you "get over" him or how fast you "move on".Take your time and grieve. We tend to believe grief is a bad thing when it'snot. It might seem impossible right now, but a day will come where the hurt will be a little less and you will stop thinking of him all the time. It might take a while, but it will come.

Try not to torture yourself with thoughts and questions about him. I know, easier said than done.
Just try to keep your mind occupied. Read, exercise, go shopping with a friend...or vent here.
This place has been a daily part of my life for the better part of a year and that is primarily because I can get this crap off my chest with people who care and understand. Sometimes venting gives a greater perspective and allows you to release it easier...at least it does for me.
Yea...breakups suck...no contact sucks...healing can suck but when you get through all this, you will feel soooo much better about yourself and life in general.

About your last question...most people can't turn off emotion like that. It may appear easy but it could be that they really didn't have the same love attachment that you had or that they fell off the love bus a long time ago or it could be something else. The point is that it doesn't matter. What matters is that he was not right for you or you would not be here and you would still be with him.

Take care of yourself...work on repairing your self worth...build yourself up...check out my journals if you want...be active here. Helping other people helps yourself too:)

Good luck and (((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))

I just feel like I cant do it. I cant imagine never seeing him again. I'm going on six weeks tomorrow and it scares me to think the more time passes the more he is fine. Sunday's seem to be the hardest for me as that is the day we did things as a family.

I feel the same way that you do. I want to stop thinking about all of the memories and worries that I now have.

How do I go on? Where will I go? Some days are better than others. Listen to people on here and try to take what is said and apply it to your situation. My prayers are with you....

Hi, so I just got all the answers that you wanted; the answer was yes, she found somebody before we had broken up, then she broke up and went to be with him even though he is terrible.
I think that knowing the truth hurts a lot, making accusations makes you look crazy so I wouldn't do that. Personally I wish that I had known this at the beginning, the more you find out over time, the more it sets you back. So don't go looking for the answers please, I'm begging you, I was doing ok before now, then i found out....
Pretend he doesn't exist, because the guy you knew really doesn't. I have learned this the hard way only 2 days ago. they are gone, they don't come back and you only have the memories.
Oh and by the way, they often lie, even if you asked him, he would probably just lie just like mine did.
I'm sorry for your hurt and your pain, you are gonna have to take it on the chest, wear your heart on your sleeves, roll them up and face each day.
You can do this, we can all do this. Life doesn't throw us things that we can't ever handle, cling to this and believe it. You can handle this. We are all in this together :)

I was so close to driving to his house to try to talk to him. instead I went shopping. I keep thinking if he see's me he will remember how much he loves me. I can't believe how much this hurts. My anxiety is so high right now my body is actually shaking. I just want to run away from it but it seems to follow me every where I go.

Lonelysoloney, I so feel for you. Day 18 of no contact for me. I just checked my email and still nothing. There was not even as much as a "good-bye" from him, which shows what a big coward he is.

Lonely, you will feel anxiety, depression, and grieving. I dealt with the anxiety by going for a massage. It is temporary relief, but it does help.

"Pretend he doesn't exist, because the guy you knew really doesn't. I have learned this the hard way only 2 days ago. they are gone, they don't come back and you only have the memories"

Yeah Mark, he does not exist in my life anymore, but I still have the memories. The memories and nostalgia don't sting as much as it did. I am feeling kinda numb to the reality really. Even his sister did not reply to my email when I asked after him yesterday. He might have instructed her not to tell me anything. Stupid really, but yeah, we all got dragged into this pain not by our own choosing.

Hugs to you all who are making this journey with me.

I understand your need for closure. I really do. I have learned that some people don't give closure. Especially the ones that can seem to turn emotions on and off like a light switch. I am struggling to find my own peace and move on. That's all we can do. Would you even trust any answer he might give? It's hard not to turn to them for support, or affection, but we can't. They aren't available anymore. Hang in there. You are not alone.

Answer bc you loved him more than he ever loved you. So sorry hun. I totally understand. HUGS

Thanks everyone. I have made it though so far without contacting him. I have kept very very busy. I have therapy tonight at 9....thank god. I keep trying to tell myself this will get better but its hard to believe. Reading everyone stories and talking is really helping me. It is so nice to know I am not in this alone.

It does get better. But the first 2 weeks is the worst. Don't, and I mean don't ever try and make the mistake of breaking the no contact. You will only get disappointed and be right back where you were. Getting busy does help. Were it not for my busy work schedule, I don't know what I would have done. Even during my recent days off last week, I moped at home and I'm worse because of nostalgia. You will experience these too. Come back to this site and cry. We are all in this together. Hugs to you.