Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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e4shannon 10/21/2013

My story is I was married for 24 yrs. When my ex husband and I divorced the only way he would do it was if I gave him custody of the kids. That was his controlling ways. We have been apart now for a year and one half. the kids are 14, 15 and 17. My life for the last 5 years have been taking care of parents that are very ailing, just finished school recently and went through some trouble with my daughter, Last say the stress levels have been high plus dealing with the ex. I recently found someone but the problem is in another state. He has told me to stay because of the kids. Am i wrong for wanting to do this. My ex has told me that if I go I will never see my kids again. I have always been there for my kids. Please need some advice.

sandysan5743 10/21/2013

Have you actually met this man? How did you meet? How often do you see him? (I ask because you mention that he is in another state).

deleted_user 10/21/2013

Have you met this person in person, or just over the internet? I can't tell you what to do as it is your life. I will say, however, that I would not have given up custody of my kids for a divorce (he can't force you to do anything to get a divorce - worst case is it goes to trial). I would also not move away from my kids before they are grown, and possibly not after, until they are on their feet and independent (have good jobs and financially independent), but again that's just me. Your ex can't keep you from your children either. He sounds like a big talker, but he really doesn't have that kind of power. Again, only you can decide what it is you really want, but don't let him bully you into making a certain decision.

e4shannon 10/21/2013

Yes I have met this person. We met when he lived in the same state as I did,

llmt 10/21/2013

My advice is don't do it. I'm sorta in that position now even though it's the next state over and about an hour or so this has been the downfall of my relationship as of Saturday. He wanted me to move, move my kids which I share custody, find a job there. I put it off for a number if years and it came to a head. He needs more than I could give and I'm not moving from my stability to start all over for everyone and make it more difficult for me for visitation and such. So, unless seeing your kids isn't a huge priority, this man is right. Stay close bc before you know it the kids will be grown.

BlueKnight69 10/21/2013

You are not wrong for wanting a relationship or pursuing one but I would not make any moves(major) unless you are prepared financially to fight it out in court. He may have the so called upper hand because he has custody but like cheryt said, he doesn't have that kind of power. Still, it could be an ongoing battle for months to come.
If this guy is right for you, he will understand(which it seems as though he does) and he will accommodate you until your kids are all adults. Imho, I would never give up my relationship with my kids for anything else...

ecotime47 10/21/2013

Thanks for sharing with us. How have your kids reacted and responded to the divorce?

deleted_user 10/21/2013

Your a mom first and foremost. I would NEVER leave my kids, they deserve the best of you. They need you even if they don't show it. There are plenty of fish in the sea, keep lookin, but only ONE of your children. Hear me? :) Not being snotty, just want you to understand what Im saying.

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