Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hey guys i posted a few months back regarding the pain of my ex leaving me. I thought I was doing well, went a full month going on to 2 months of NC and not having any urges to message her and now I just suddenly miss her so much. She still hasn't bothered to reach out considering she just left me in the dust, blocked me off everything etc.
I'm unemployed still since the breakup is when I had a job, i've been waking up really late and I'm just really depressed. I dont know how to feel or what to do. I just want to be happy again, I really miss her and wish she'd message me, how can someone claim you are their soul-mate and never say they'll leave to walking out like it was the easiest thing on the planet. Nearing 5 months fairly certain she's over me which hurts, because I still feel for her and knowing she's doing well without me is both bitter-sweet.
I wasn't the greatest bf, I was angry and would lash out and i was insecure. I have no shame in admitting that I was at fault, I'm glad she left me to look after herself tbh, but at the same time I was only angry because she was herself depressed clinically, had family issues and was always so distant that she'd not communicate as i posted before which led me to my increased edginess, anger and insecurity.
I know my faults and I'm blessed to have been given this sight to better myself but I still loved her so so so much depsite everything and treated her like a queen as best as i could.
I'm just really lost, depressed, losing weight and my hair has been falling out a lot which is scary cause i have long hair, any advice about what I can do i would greatly appreciate.
I'm sorry for everyone going through similar, I really wish I could take away all your heartache as well as mine. I'm really glad we're all supportive of each other.
I think you are missing your ex because you are depressed and have too much time on your hands. Force yourself to get on a regular schedule. Literally take any job you can find, not for the money but for the socialization. I'm not joking. Humans beings need human contact to feel alive!
Figure out where you like to be and then go get any job in that environment or integrate yourself in another way.
You like the bar scene? If you don't have problems with alcohol, then being there is fine for you. You can wait tables, tend bar, strip, sing, or work for a rock band helping them pack or unpack. You like to read; consider working at a bookstore, library, or think about writing a book, joining a writing or reading circle. You like art; art gallery, museum restoration, work with an artists guild, grab some art supplies and create or take a art class or do one of those evenings where you drink wine and create a paining (cost is minimal and you get to meet others). You like sports; work at a stadium, baseball park, shoot hoops locally or whatever floats your boat.
You've got to blast yourself out of your comfort zone and live a little. Make a bucket list of large and small things you'd like to do before you die and challenge yourself to check off at least a small item every single week.
Make yourself eat something healthy every day. Experiment with new foods. Maybe join a group of people who hit eateries or food trucks. Do something as simple as toast artisan bread, add cheese and fresh spinach and just eat, dude. Make eating something nice instead of a chore.
Most important of all, come on here every day and let us know how you're doing. When you have your mess together the perfect person will be drawn to you like magic and what you make with that person will be worth every bad experience in your life to have!
finding work is hard, but that is damn great advice, I need to get my mess together, feed my spirit and it’ll be okay I hope
Today’s been tough, more of my ex on my mind, just feel sad cause it’s nearly been 5 months and she hasn’t said a single thing. She’s lucky that she has a full time job where I used to work and can easily forget about me, but idk I feel like there’s still something there,
How can I overcome this feeling and just not ever be affected by her at all?
you also need to remove any expectation you have on her (what she will do, whether she will call or not etc...) as relationship has ended and she is no longer obligated nor responsible to care as a partner.
I agree with above about exercise/eat well as healthy body support healthy mind and while at it, you should also think about your own issue (anger, insecurity etc..) and find ways to resolve them or way to deal with it in healthy way (therapy to find deep underlying issue ?) as these can get in the way in your future relationship if you don't deal with them now. in fact, this is the best time as you are now solo and you have the time/energy/attention to focus on yourself. enjoy your own company and find peace within yourself. You need to be content being with yourself before you can be content being with other. This is good time to work on yourself
I really do need to ride it out solo and find that peace within myself.