I think you are doing great. It may not feel like it most of the time but you are doing what you have to do and things will get better slowly but surely.

Also, if that is the worst thing you have said about your ex, you are fine. I know you read some of my Journals/posts. :) Swearing is a lost art and I have taken it up as a form of study...lol.

Hang in there. Remember to take it easy on yourself. I am still here to lean on when you need:)

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Why are you continuing to have communication with him? You must realize by now that every time you read a text or get a call, it sets you back in your recovery and you are on here very upset. It's understandable because he's an abuser! He's abusing you still, and you keep letting him. Why are you responding to his texts? I think you are rubbing salt in your own wounds. It's are to go no-contact, but it's really important for YOU so that YOU can begin to heal from this nightmare. No-contact is a gift you give to yourself. Your husband will continue to do whatever he can to work his way back into your life because his life was better when you were in it. Can you say the same about him?

1. Your husband has had a plan all along and has been working it. Sadly, you fell into it and now have to realize that plan and pick yourself up and know that what he has done with you is not loving you, but is a plan to get money from you.

2. He was constantly calling because from past experience, he knew that experience you would let him re-enter the home and he would be able to talk to you (and he treated you poorly taking to you) and you would hug him and comfort him when he cried crocodile tears (fake tears). Oh Boo Hoo. Someone coming in and talking to me and treating me poorly, I would have gotten mad, REALLY MAD, that the first time I talk to them, they treat me poorly, and I would have gotten my hand on the back of their collar and the other hand on the back of their pants and thrown them out of my home.

3. See, he assumes you are a weak, witless, woman that he can manipulate and get money out of and thats been the basis of his plan. So on with his plan and now he needed to text you and makes a demand to make you obey him. This demand was for you to put your business in his name. Why would he ask that? Good Question. The answer is that once your business has his name on it, he can loot it of all its profits, can sell anything he can get his hands on and empty out your entire business and youll be surprised what he can do in a short time. Thats his plan and its all about getting money.

4. DONT PUT HIS NAME ON YOUR BUSINESS OR ANY PART OF YOUR BUSINESS. He is rotten and this business is YOURS. You worked for your business and he didnt. He wants to take everything from it and put nothing into it. DONT LET HIM DO IT.

5. Woman are very tough when it comes to protecting their children (I became like the Incredible Hulk with a very big violent man), and were not weak, witless or manipulated. Your business is your child because you worked and made it grow. Get tough and dont let this man get involved in it. Protect your business.

6. Start forcing yourself to eat. If you dont you will find yourself in the hospital and he will gain entry to your home. You need strength from food to feed your body, brain, mind and soul. Get back to work and realize it pays your bills and rejoice that you have that work to do and that you have your own business.

7. Stop taking calls and texts from him. Dont read them. And dont let him back into your home. Dont talk to him. Hes only wants money, just like your daughter. Protect yourself from people that want to take from you.

8. Take his mail to the post office and tell them he moved out two months ago and never changed his address. Tell them you are not accepting his mail any more at your residence. Any more mail that is his, mark in big letters HE MOVED MONTHS AGO, and put it in a public mail box or return it to the mail person or take it to the post office. NO MORE SAVING HIS MAIL AND GIVING IT TO HIM. Hes old enough to know that he has to change his mailing address.

9. Take command of your life. No one will do it for you and even God isnt going to come down and do it for you. God wants you to help yourself. When the people were freed from Egypt and Moses led them out, they had to pack up all by themselves and then walk out of Egypt.

I know. I do agree. I shouldn't have any contact. I was in a mess and I thought I'd feel better weaning myself off him but I shouldn't be doing that I know

Don't worry as time goes by. I won't be putting his name on anything. I may have fallen again but I know in my head not to let him have any rights to my business. I knew you would be disappointed in me. But I have to do all that you say because I know you are right. Thank you

No one is disappointed in you. We're rooting for you! You were being very brave a week or 2 ago in going to the cops to make him leave you alone. Where is that person? She's in there! Find her and bring her out again! There is no weaning yourself from an abuser. They weazel their way back in if you let them get a foot in the door. Promise yourself no more contact.

Hang on in there my friend...You are doing amazing!

I am on my third week of anti depressants and suddenly this weekend started eating like a horse....or pig

After losing 50lbs this year I need another 10 or 20 put back on.
Maybe it is time to look at that option

Needafreind, read read and reread what Astime wrote. It has a lot of very valid and wise advice in it. I know food tastes like dust, but make yourself eat. When you are so exhausted by emotions its hard to care or have the energy just to chew. Find soft things like yogurt, with protein, take vitamins, you don't want to get sick or end up in a hospital, and sip fluids all day long. Take care of yourself ok? You feel like crap, and that's ok, but you have to keep putting one foot in front of the other until things get easier. It will get easier. Right now is just very hard and very draining. You are fighting, don't forget, you are a fighter. You are reaching out for help, and staying safe, right there two major things to be commended. :) Hang in there girl. Much love from me

Honestly I'm stilling losing weight too, but in those first 3 weeks I wasn't even desiring food, but I knew I had to work, survive, believe it or not what got me threw were saltines (crackers) .. haha like when you have morning sickness. I ate crackers and drank gingerale...worked..

I promise you if you can work the 180....and make that list of all his faults both big and small, in a few weeks you won't be crying for him at all. In fact you'll wonder want all that fuss was in the beginning. I'm about 8 weeks in from when I asked him to leave, the last week I've not cried at all. Do I think I'm over him? No, of course not. I'm guessing I'll even cry over all the parts of the relationship that were good. I do believe I'm done crying everyday though, and it feels so amazing. He doesn't deserve my tears.

Coming here, posting on the boards, replying to others when able, talking with friends here, reading the 180 everyday....sometimes twice a day, plus reading his list of faults all those things helped me feel stronger and much wiser.

I know this will happen for you as well. At some point you will look back at all he has put you through and be so, so, so glad to be done with him.

I'm pretty sure you've haven't disappointed anyone here....we all fall back into old habits right? Just learn, grow, and move on.

:) I ate almost exclusively bananas and wheat bread for 5 weeks. Nothing else would stay down.

Are you still taking the meds the doctor gave you?

Many hugs,
Deb

I am not disappointed in you. But I do want you to start recognizing that your husband has a plan, is a manipulator and only wants money from you, not love.

Food does so much for us, it strengthens the body AND THE MIND, and some food is even called "brain food" and my cat "The Boss" vouches for that. If you starve your body, your mind, your brain and your soul, they have no way to step up to help you. You want to "feed to succeed" and start getting food into you. Consider that this with your husband is a battle that you have to fight to get this divorce. You're going to have to get your body, your mind, your brain and your soul into a strong combination to help you. Feed it for success.

And as far as feeding your soul, I can only tell you what I do. I many times wake up and see a beautiful day and I look up and say Thank you for this beautiful day. The Canadian Geese arrive by the hundreds and fly over my home every year on the way to the park each honking loudly. It is an incredible event as they break up into what I call squads of about 25. My cat The Boss and I go on the back patio and watch the geese not far above us continuously flying over my home for an hour or more and I look up and tell Him Thank you for sharing this with me. I drove by a beautiful row of blooming bushes that were the most fabulous color and I again said thank you so much for letting me see them. God has shown me some wonderful things that I am so grateful to have seen and other people are so busy in their lives that they never notice or see. I have also had some bad things happen to me but he has helped me go on when I put in the work. When I have a problem, I talk to God and ask him for guidance. Sometimes I am given something that seems odd, but it later makes perfect sense and always with whatever is provided, I have to do the work. For today and from now on, find things that you can be grateful for every single day because its good to see that great things are out there and find yourself looking for them every day and acknowledging them. Its also a great way to lift your spirits and put a smile on your face.