Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So just a little backstory. My wife went outside the marriage, and caught herpes, thus leading to our divorce. We have a 5 yr old son, who is my world.
I just found out she's been lying about business trips, and flying to see someone on the other side of the country (Seattle). We live in Georgia. Here's my dilemma. I know who it is. I don't know him personally, but I know his name, and could contact him thru Facebook. Should I warn him about her having herpes? I feel like I would want someone to warn me if I was him. On the other hand, they could of met on a herpes dating site for all I know.
Part of me says I should mind my business, but part of me wants to tell him. But then I realized it IS my business. If this gets serious, she may want to move across country to be with this guy. Is there any way to block her from moving my son out of state? That would kill me... I think it's also pretty sad that our divorce isn't even final yet, and she'd rather take romantic getaways across the country than to spend time with her son, who needs all the love he can get right now,
I just found out she's been lying about business trips, and flying to see someone on the other side of the country (Seattle). We live in Georgia. Here's my dilemma. I know who it is. I don't know him personally, but I know his name, and could contact him thru Facebook. Should I warn him about her having herpes? I feel like I would want someone to warn me if I was him. On the other hand, they could of met on a herpes dating site for all I know.
Part of me says I should mind my business, but part of me wants to tell him. But then I realized it IS my business. If this gets serious, she may want to move across country to be with this guy. Is there any way to block her from moving my son out of state? That would kill me... I think it's also pretty sad that our divorce isn't even final yet, and she'd rather take romantic getaways across the country than to spend time with her son, who needs all the love he can get right now,
As for whether or not to tell the guy about her having herpes, I can't say one way or the other. I will ask you to sit with it and ask yourself "Is there any part of me that wants to do this to get back at her? If the answer is yes, then ask yourself, "Will I be able to live w/my actions now, 6 months from now, a year from now, 5 years from now?"
Another thought: its probably too late anyway cuz chances are, they've already had sex.
You don't have to decide today or tomorrow, or even next month. Deciding in the heat of the moment isn't usually the best or healthiest time to make decisions.
http://www.divorcenet.com/states/nationwide/custodial_parent_removing_child#b
I would suggest not contacting the other man, especially if you reflect on your motivations and think you might be doing it because you are angry at your ex or you want to prevent her moving out of state. He's a grown man, he knows the risks associated with sleeping with anyone new. In my opinion, best to stay out of this one.
Your other issue which may seem like the big underlying issue for your post, is that without any court approval, I don't believe she can do anything. If you are a good father, I am not sure how easy it would be for her to up and move. Check your divorce decree and see if there is anything in there where the kid or you have to live within a certain distance of a school, or area, etc.
I believe at any time, especially if visitation becomes an issue for not fault of yours, then you can get an order so to keep your son within a certain distance of you until he is 18. I dont know for sure all the details, but I know there is protection for both mother and father.
best luck