Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I can relate to so much that I've read here.
My husand and I have been living seperatly since May.
He is a sex addict and cheats non stop. He lies and doesn't financially support the household (never has). I've had to work 2 jobs most of our marriage and even while going to school.
I can't put my brain around why it's so hard for me to end this marriage. It took me 13 yrs to move out and we are still married. We spend time together except when he is on a bing and then he turns his phone off, which I am paying for (i want to turn it off so badly, but he takes my daughter on his days off). This is a place where I feel stuck but stupid. Same with his car insurance. I am still paying for it, but so badly want to take his car off the policy. (more stuck and stupid).
My brain knows that I should be glad that I'm done with him and run fast and far in the other direction, but for some reason my feet and heart aren't listening (maybe not my heart, I don't think that I love him). I'm usually fine as long as I don't know he is with someone else (which he usually is by the way). I'm the problem and I know it. I just don't know how to change my thinking and behavior. The counselor I'm seeing isn't super helpful with this either.
I'm feeling alone, stuck, stupid and so much more that I just can't put words to.
Ready for divorce, but afraid...so freakin afraid.
My husand and I have been living seperatly since May.
He is a sex addict and cheats non stop. He lies and doesn't financially support the household (never has). I've had to work 2 jobs most of our marriage and even while going to school.
I can't put my brain around why it's so hard for me to end this marriage. It took me 13 yrs to move out and we are still married. We spend time together except when he is on a bing and then he turns his phone off, which I am paying for (i want to turn it off so badly, but he takes my daughter on his days off). This is a place where I feel stuck but stupid. Same with his car insurance. I am still paying for it, but so badly want to take his car off the policy. (more stuck and stupid).
My brain knows that I should be glad that I'm done with him and run fast and far in the other direction, but for some reason my feet and heart aren't listening (maybe not my heart, I don't think that I love him). I'm usually fine as long as I don't know he is with someone else (which he usually is by the way). I'm the problem and I know it. I just don't know how to change my thinking and behavior. The counselor I'm seeing isn't super helpful with this either.
I'm feeling alone, stuck, stupid and so much more that I just can't put words to.
Ready for divorce, but afraid...so freakin afraid.
I'm in the process of divorcing my husband of 25 years now. It's really hard, and scary. The fact that you've been the bread winner should help you immensely. I was not the bread winner, although I do have a decent job, and I have 2 college kids to support, so getting out was super scary. You've done the hard work of physically detaching from him. I know you're scared to take the next step of divorce. Divorce is final. If you're not ready, then take your time. Doesn't sound like he's in any hurry. Take this time to get emotionally strong, then you'll be ready.
You need to move on. From what it looks like he is taking total advantage of you and thats not right at all.
You can probably start divorce procedures w/o getting him involved until the end. At that time, I would cancel his phone/insurance. Hit him with all of it one time so he does not have time to try and weasel his way out.
He is a cancer to you from what you have posted. Not contributing in any form what so ever.
Your feelings are normal. 13 years is a long time vested in someone. See if you can get counseling as well. I was fortunate that my work provided sessions for free via work support.
HOping for the best!