Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I moved accross the globe just to be with my stbx husband about 10 years ago. Im a 35 years old asian and he is 44 years old caucasian.I can say that we had a beautiful marriage. We travelled a lot and started building our dreams. We bought an apartment and a cabin together. Until last year, i asked him if he wants to start a family with me and he said yes. He joined this boytrip and i found out that he cheated while abroad. He dumped me and he invited this woman to visit him. He brought her to our cabin and stayed in there for a week. After a couple of months of their long distant relationship, he dumped her. Now he found a new girlfriend that just lives in here.Seems this time is more serious. He told me that he dont really want to have kids with me and he just said yes at that time i ask him because he was so afraid to hurt me. And now he said that if they decide to start a family then it will happen soon since she is 42 yrs old already. This really broke my heart the second time around. I keep asking him why her and not me. We`ve been together for almost 10 years, been through a lot. Its been almost 8 months since we got separated and im still hurt. So hard to move on. Tried dating but nothing out there seems to like me.
God does not guarantee however that love is forever. so we, earthlings have to pickup the pieces and move on. You seem to be attached to him and yes he cheated on you. why do you feel bad???
you should be happy. that he cheated on you BEFORE you start a family.
consider yourself luckly that he did you a favor by saving you from years of miserable life with him.
not be dating. Try just focusing on you and your
Own healing, growing and moving forward without
Your stbx. You can only fix and control yourself.
I love divorce care and therapy. DC is good for the
Grieving and divorce process and therapy to help
You cope And deal with any issues you need to
work on and thru, HUGS
any will grow cold." Marriage is to be "held in honor by all and the bed be undefiled." Whether or not you have children. It's all about commitment--being there for eachother...love. Something your husband has to learn. Pray for him. I hope God (who hates divorce) will be very close to you in this your pain. Please read Acts 2:38 Acts 22:16 Mark 16:16 Galatians 3:27 Revelation 1:5 "Born again" Bless you.
All this just to tell you that I understand you fully.
You are not second-hand anything!!!
These things are self-defining: if he cannot see you as his first, then there is no good reason whatsoever why you should see him as such. What we are grieving is not the loss of the person, but the loss of self-respect and of value. We were basing and are still basing our sense of self-worth on somebody else's opinion of us, even though they are telling us we're just not good enough. Do you realize how silly we are being? Yes, we're imperfect, but we're not second class anything. We need to move on and re-build ourselves; and this time we make sure that we put our own opinion of ourselves first. This is not going to be easy, but we can and we will do it!
Try to concentrate on small things..books, movies, talking to people, observing people, go to a gym, walk, find a hobby. I know all these seem to be meaningless at the moment compare to the massive size of your emotional pain. However, all those small steps and things will gradually start to minimize your pain. What you feel now will be overshadow by something new you let to enter your life. I am sorry, there us nobither remedy. Dating others wont help. But, finding new friends will help. Instaed ifclooking for a replacement for your ex, concentrate on healing yourself. The healing process might be very long and painful if you do not take any actions on your own. I find it very therapeutic to support other people on this board. Read other stories..You are not along. Down the road, er do not need people in hour lives who fo not need us. You are just ,35, you have a chance for other romantic relationships. It will happen to you as soon you ll be ready.
I would try therapy and join a divorce group. Get the help and tools you need to repair and rebuild yourself. The focus here now is on yourself. In time you will detach yourself from him and you will realize that this was for the best. Not only for you but the child that may have been brought into this world.
Stay strong and positive. Good things will happen
-HUGS-
Don't think "why her not me" .
If we could fall in love due to logical reasons none of us would be here.
I know it sucks but this is part of being human.
Take care of yourself, love yourself and eventually you'll see that he may have done you a favor.
Hugs