Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi, I've been looking at some of the posts and think this would be a good place for me to be. I'm currently separated after 11 years married, 12 together. I was the one who ended the marriage, I'd been unhappy for awhile. The thing is, my stbx would have done anything for me. He often said he still felt in the honeymoon stage of our marriage and wanted to be together 24/7. Maybe that was the problem. He was/is very needy and has moved on because he says he doesn't want to be alone.
I moved in with my parents at the end of August because of the way he acted at a ball game (my brother was visiting from out of state, paid for a bunch of us to attend the game and my stbx through a fit in the stands because he 'couldn't sit next to his wife') It was an innocent mistake but my stbx had been experiencing paranoia and thought people were trying to break us up. Anyhow, I told him I needed time to figure things out, but he still texted, called, visited every day,, saying he just needed to see me to feel better. I told him I didnt' think things were going to work out and he admitted himself to the psychiatric hospital for a week. When he returned home, I still stayed at my parents and after alot of thinking, decided I didn't want to be married anymore. He stopped his meds, therapy, saying he didn't need them anymore. He moved out the end of October and we tried to stay friends, but he said he couldn't do it anymore and there has been no contact for two weeks.
I miss him. Not the husband, but the friend. I could tell him anything and wish things could have been different, but we grew apart to much. I think I miss what we had in the beginning. The problem is, if I attempt to contact him at all, he'll think there's hope and there isn't. Not for the marriage.
Sorry this is so long,, not even sure what I'm asking for, just feeling lonely right now. So many decisions/choices to make. I'm 49 years old and this is the first time in my life I've had no one to take care of. My sons are grown and live near,, but have lives of their own. I've always been very family oriented when it came to my kids, but I can honestly say I would just like to sleep through Christmas this year. Thanks for listening (or should I say reading lol)
I moved in with my parents at the end of August because of the way he acted at a ball game (my brother was visiting from out of state, paid for a bunch of us to attend the game and my stbx through a fit in the stands because he 'couldn't sit next to his wife') It was an innocent mistake but my stbx had been experiencing paranoia and thought people were trying to break us up. Anyhow, I told him I needed time to figure things out, but he still texted, called, visited every day,, saying he just needed to see me to feel better. I told him I didnt' think things were going to work out and he admitted himself to the psychiatric hospital for a week. When he returned home, I still stayed at my parents and after alot of thinking, decided I didn't want to be married anymore. He stopped his meds, therapy, saying he didn't need them anymore. He moved out the end of October and we tried to stay friends, but he said he couldn't do it anymore and there has been no contact for two weeks.
I miss him. Not the husband, but the friend. I could tell him anything and wish things could have been different, but we grew apart to much. I think I miss what we had in the beginning. The problem is, if I attempt to contact him at all, he'll think there's hope and there isn't. Not for the marriage.
Sorry this is so long,, not even sure what I'm asking for, just feeling lonely right now. So many decisions/choices to make. I'm 49 years old and this is the first time in my life I've had no one to take care of. My sons are grown and live near,, but have lives of their own. I've always been very family oriented when it came to my kids, but I can honestly say I would just like to sleep through Christmas this year. Thanks for listening (or should I say reading lol)
All that being said, I completely agree that No Contact is the way to go. Everything ends badly; otherwise it wouldn't end. If you think about it, that would be sad-I mean to end a good marriage.
The longer you go with no contact the easier it gets and it helps tremendously with healing. Plus you don't have to watch if they've started dating someone else. If you don't want to reconcile, it's best to move on.
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